The Magic of Reality: Richard Dawkins' book for children

It's Christmas break (for one week,) and so I have been brushing up on my Intelligent Design emails, etc, etc. I guess Richard Dawkins just came out with a new book for children. The review I was reading came from this website. I thought it was interesting.
Inwardly, you see, I am a teacher and so the force of "teacher" compels me to share what I have found.
My roommate is still in Singapore, and so I share it here and now with this blog (and whoever may stumble upon it,) because "Digging to China" is my only outlet!

Questions I ponder:
How many people will buy this book?
How will this book influence its readers?
Will school teachers use this book for their students?
How many more children's books will Dawkins publish?
How does Dawkins know what the truth of reality is? (Does he say that truth can be found? Does he say that HE has found the truth? -- Christopher Hitchens did not make such claims.)

It follows the pattern of all thoughts of influence that have gone before it: start with the children.

How ready are our children to discern and disseminate Truth?

We are all always ready to take in and be influenced by information.
That is the problem.
That's why children are always the targets and ones to be so greatly influenced.
(And why are the mothers leaving them without a guide?)

An excerpt from the book can be heard at Amazon.com's "audible.com" tool.

It seems that perhaps, the greatest tool to enable us to see will be and is death.

Tree of Life movie Trailer

Tree of Life Movie Trailer from YouTube. I found the review from Intelligent Design people interesting, as well as the review on some movie theater website. I also find it interesting to see who the actors are in this film. Why? What was the director's intent? Are ID people reading too much into the movie?

Intelligent Design Podcasts

Just found these podcasts and thought they may be helpful and/or interesting to browse. (They seem to be rather short and easy to handle.)

Christmas Story: Frail and Lowly?

I know there have been times when I have been telling my friends and/or my students about the virgin birth, God becoming flesh, and I have asked myself, “What in the heck are you saying?!”

It sounds so ludicrous.

For some, this is the first time they have heard of these things. They are scientifically minded. These statements are not reasonable.

And yet, His coming is the beginning of the mystery of salvation being revealed to the world.

As I speak about Christmas, I have been asking myself, "Do our thoughts and traditions during this season move us to stand in awe of Him?"

"Sweet, little Jesus boy, we made you be born in a manger. Look how we treated you." –Hmmm…. Theologically accurate? Awe-inspiring?

(Makes Him sound so weak He can’t even choose where He was going to be born.)

How do we respond to Him?

First, look to the responses of the various peoples in the biblical “Christmas Story.”

--Mary and Joseph: Obedience, surprise, and pondering.

--Shepherds (Angels): For there is born to YOU in the city of David, a Savior who IS Christ the LORD. (Not “will be” – born as is.)

Angels’ reaction: glorify their God on earth because He has gone for crazy reasons they long to understand.

Shepherds’ reaction: “Let us go now.” They left with haste. Left behind the whole of their livelihood. Made widely known what they had seen.

--Wise men’s reaction: Matthew 2:2, “’Where is He who has been born, King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to WORSHIP Him.” They fell before Him and worshiped Him and offered Him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

--Anna/Simeon’s reaction: Glorified God and attributed to Jesus the salvation coming to be given.

--Herod: Greatly troubled. Killed all the babies in Jerusalem 2 and under.

All reactions (seemed to be) serious and immediate; they had to make an immediate decision about how they would accept this news of the supposed Messiah’s arrival.

How do others react when we share this story? How do our hearts move within us when we hear this story?

Do these traditions evoke a sense of awe and wonder, or cuteness and frailty?

What is your response to Jesus? How is your heart of awe and worship?

The other night at English corner we ended up chatting about Christmas, the Bible, and God’s glory. I was suddenly overwhelmed with pressure from the realization that they have (yes, because they are spiritually blinded,) no idea about the awe, glory, and sacrifice of the birthday of Jesus.

It’s not just that Jesus became a baby, but the Baby is GOD. The Creator has put on His creation. The Creator has allowed Himself to have a “cord that is cut.”

He is God made manifest to us. The point is not so much that God is a baby, but that this baby is God, the long-awaited Messiah who will save us from our sins and bring righteous judgment to the world.

(If that were the main focus of Christmas carols, would they become harder for non-believers to sing? Ehhh...Probably not. "Silent Night," DOES say, "fall on your knees." It's all the work of the Holy Spirit.)

And yet, let us press on to remember and speak of the One who alone is worthy to open the seals, the Lamb who was slain, the One who sits on the throne and receives glory and honor and praise all morning and all night.

The One whose eyes are a flame of fire, head crowned with many crowns, who wears a robe dipped in blood, whose name is The Word of God, who leads the armies of Heaven, whose mouth holds a sharp sword that with it He should strike the nations and rule them with a rod of iron.

If we are going to share who our God is, let's not distract them from the glorious Truth.

(The Gospel writers follow a pattern of no distraction.)

Questions Abounding Part 1 (Pursue What?)

I don’t need to want more.

I don’t need to want more faithfulness.

I don’t need to want better faithfulness.

Are these statements blasphemous, or am I beginning to understand contentment?

Why should you ever be satisfied with your current relationship with the Lord?

There’s always more.

Is Matthew 5-7 such a big deal?

Should I just live in my cocoon and faithfully minister to those around me, solely?

Should I ever step out of where I am now and pursue other ideas and possibilities?

Should I wait for opportunities to come to me as waiting upon the Lord and His timing and His will?

When we chase after dreams, plans, or pursuits is that because in order to start something you need to initiate the process – as the universal Law, or is it because I have been influenced by my culture and the idea of pursuing the American dream?

Questions Abounding Part 2 (I Can't)

I can’t change the world.

I can’t heal all the sorrows of each individual.

I cannot help the North Koreans.

I cannot adopt all the abandoned children of the world.

I cannot disciple and love every person who wants to grow and be loved.

So, what do I do?

If I am not living close to the literally abandoned, hungry, hurting people, does that mean I must only minister to those many hurting and alone people in my circle?

The rich minister to the hurting rich, and the poor minister to the hurting poor, huh?

Is it biblical to chase dreams and to explore new possibilities?

What about Matthew 5-7?

Is it so important to make it a priority in one’s life?

Why? Why not? How?

Questions Abounding Part 3 (Ms)

“WHILE we are going…” Who translated Matthew 28:20 originally? Why did he translate it as, “GO therefore.” Should it truly be, “While you are going, therefore (because all authority has been given to me on heaven and on earth,) and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age”?

Why have the translators who have followed kept it “as is”?

Is typical acceptance more important than correct translation?

Why do some people think a better translation is, “while you are going”?

If it is “while you are going,” that doesn’t change the fact that He follows that statement with, “make disciples of all the nations.” And that phrase doesn’t change Acts 1:8.

(“You will be my witness to Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the world.” Although, the “you will be” seems to imply, “I [God] will make it happen,” rather than they [disciples] need to pursue these opportunities. He’s not saying they need to move themselves out.)

What about that one passage about “remaining as you are,” if a slave, then stay a slave; if a freeman, then stay a freeman?

So, are Ms all wrong?

Was Hudson Taylor a big sinner?

How did I get to China?

Should I ever go to Africa?

Why not? Why? (The call of God. Is that His call, or my emotions appealing to my soul’s sorrow for their hurting lostness?)

What about families?

What about the children of Ms whose lives have been wrecked and ruined because of the life “on the field”?

(Loss of identity, physical abuse, skepticism, bitterness, anger, loneliness, etc. These are not problems only experienced by MKs. But, these types of kids seem to be impacted by them profoundly.)

What about the MKs whose lives have flourished because of “life on the field”?

(Those seem to be a rare commodity, in my present observation – though my sampling size is still small.)

I welcome feedback.

Thirty Thoughts of Thankful

1) My students and our recent conversations.

2) Thankful for my students’ hugs.

3) Thankful for Irene and her poppy seed muffin.

4) Thankful for English corners.

5) Thankful for Gospel conversations and opportunities.

6) Thankful for my apartment and that the heat has been turned on.

7) Thankful for the bounty of food and money we have here.

8) Thankful for my imagination.

9) Thankful for the delights of my childhood.

10) Thankful for my opportunities to travel and live overseas.

11) Thankful for my sisters.

12) Thankful for my parents’ growth in the Lord and their influence on me.

13) Thankful for my loving family.

14) Thankful that today was professional day when my eyes are dying.

15) Thankful to be wanted at English corner.

16) Thankful for chicken soup that could be made with the well-intentioned chicken.

17) Thankful for the Internet.

18) Thankful for the knowledge of the Bible.

19) Thankful for clean water.

20) Thankful for plumbing.

21) Thankful for the rain that washes away some pollution.

22) Thankful for the excitement of the students.

23) Thankful for Shannon as my partner teacher.

24) Thankful for our oven so we can bake.

25) Thankful for the Good Friends store. (Western foods!)

26) Thankful for Jesus and His sacrifice. (Really?)

27) Thankful for examples of people who care and give and share.

28) Thankful to have a VPN for my Internet.

29) Thankful for laughter and smiles.

30) Thankful for pictures and emails.

Cultural Differences: Food Culture

My roommate and I had Thanksgiving dinner at our apartment. Some people brought duck hearts, duck tongues, and duck intestine. I tried them.

The duck heart was tasty, but the mental thoughts were too much. When I looked inside the heart (after my first bite,) and saw the blood, I put it down. The Old Testament was calling out too much, "don't eat the blood!!"

Different cities have their own specific foods. Tianjin people do not like spices so much. People in the south like their spicy food. People in the north like noodles, people in the south enjoy rice more than noodles. (Most Chinese people consider rice as a main dish, but at restaurants it is always served at the end.)

I have never before consumed so much powdered milk. (We can get milk at the grocery store, but sometimes it's not there.) I have now cooked with it quite often.

Fruit and veggies are much cheaper at the market rather than the grocery store. They are (often) of better quality. Most of the produce comes directly from nearby farms. (BUT! In one store I have seen imported Washington state apples!!!)

Food stands are nice and yummy. Various types of Chinese foods are sold. I don't think it has really made me sick yet. Some of my favorite meals are noodles boiled on a hot fire with oil, spices, noodles (you choose), spinach, cabbage, meat, mushrooms, etc. Yummy! You get to eat it with the broth. Bao zi is a dumpling-like food. A bread pastry on the outside and pig, vegetables, or seafood in the middle. I guess it comes from Tianjin. Chinese BBQ is FUN! You put your food on sticks, put it over the long, skinny, rectangular barbeque, sprinkle spices on top, spread oil over the top, turn as it cooks, pick it up, and eat it off the stick. A nice community, friendship building experience.

Vinegar is used in almost every dish. This did affect my digestion in the first weeks I was in China.

Cheese is expensive and rarely consumed. (TILLAMOOK!!) Culturally, Chinese people have not consumed much cheese. With the introduction of the pizza, more people of the younger generations (probably beginning with mine,) are eating more dairy products, but they can still be hard to find and they are usually expensive. Their yogurt is most often in liquid form, not the semi-solid kind. (Interesting mouth experience there.)

Meat can be purchased at the market (where it is sitting out, under fans, so flies don't land on them). The meat is usually of acceptable quality, but sometimes you don't know what it is. Especially the ground meat. It could be cow, could be pig, could be donkey...some have even said it could be dog. (haha)

When you think you are purchasing beef and you ask for it to be ground, left over meat from the previous customer who wanted their mutton meat to be ground could end up in your meat package. Oh yes. I have tasted this in my chili before.

Chicken is cheaper. Ground beef is more expensive. Chicken breast is hard to find in our white market. I have gone to the grocery store for it. I can't remember how much it was and/or how much it weighed. I know that for what I brought (3 food items, including the chicken) I paid around 6USD. (Now, I would say that's a great deal!)

Spices are "key". They are used, but many people don't know how to distinguish the taste of the spices. (Maybe it's just my generation who don't know how to cook, or maybe it's because the hot spices just overtake your tongue.) They look for the overall taste of the combination of spices, not for the individual taste of each spice. The spices can make anything taste good. The duck intestines and chicken feet included.

Food is very important in Chinese culture. I will learn more, observe more, draft more, and report back to you later.

Cultural Differences: Family Culture

Family culture is way different. This influences the living of the Christian family. (Culture influences families, yes.) I have had to process my way/view of the family. Do I structure the family with an American worldview/perspective or the biblical worldview/perspective? Or is it a mixture? How much of a mixture?

In China, it is typical for both parents to work while the only child is sent to the grandparents to be cared for and to live. This happens because people want things so they can have a better future with more opportunities. (More honor, dignity, comfort, etc will come to the family.)

Well, if people want more opportunities, then they have to go to the cities. The problem is that the cities are more expensive. More expenses means you need more income. The need for more income means you need two parents to work. Keep in mind the influences of the West and the pre-existing "no-emotion-shown in the family" tradition ...and the families ... are ... I have not yet concluded what they are.

They are a responsibility, not a delight. A Chinese saying, "Marriage is the tomb of love."

(And yet, not many Chinese couples sleep/live together before marriage. It's a growing trend in the cities, but still not looked upon favorably -- particularly in the countryside.)

Cultural Differences: School Culture

These are some thoughts I WAS going to email, but my email was SO lengthy, I had to discard these bits. (If I don't post them now...I won't post them until Christmas...so, let's get them posted.)

Compared to Grace Academy (where I taught in Marysville, WA for two years), the school culture here is MUCH different because the student population is MUCH different.

The purpose of the Korean child’s life is to study. The purpose of the mother’s life is to make sure their children get the best scores so they can get to the best universities, so they can get the best jobs, so the parents can be cared for when they are old and dying (similar to China). Koreans must study hard and this takes up their life, it also influences the way our school is run. (Academics comes first, people...somewhere after that.)

I say Grace Academy is much different not because they don't pay any attention to academics (no, no,) but because they/we emphasize loving the Lord WHILE students do academics. I think I can also say, they/we emphasize loving people more than academics. (Those of you reading from Grace, please correct me if I am wrong.) But, the culture allows us to do this. Grace can create their own culture more freely, perhaps, than what can be done at TIS.

At Grace some families have stayed from elementary to high school. They have more opportunity to serve one another, they have the opportunity to build relationships, many come from the same cultural background. (Those that don't are the minority and they know which culture they are supposed to "join".) The lines aren't so clearly defined here in Tianjin.

When people are always leaving, what kind of community can you even try to develop? Korean students feel alone and isolated culturally (they are “Third Culture Kids,” and if you join the Westerner groups, you are seen as forsaking your "Korean-ness." If you don't keep your "Korean-ness" you are shunned by other Koreans.) Stereotypically they don’t communicate much with their families because in the Korean culture you do not show emotion. Many Korean [students] seek ways to commit suicide. I heard many high schoolers speak of their struggles with these thoughts while I was at the “Vida” youth retreat.

At times, the Asian culture seems to be one of despair. They seem to be resilient people, but where is their hope? It seems to be placed more and more in wealth and humankind. (I speak mainly of Japan, China, and Korea in this blanket statement.) When you look up into the night sky and are blinded by lights and skyscrapers, what else will you think of BUT the powers of humanity?

Please pray for these students -- and the people of these countries.

Thank Him

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:1

God is good.

God is faithful.

God does not change.

I am thankful for:

His patience in growing me.

His providence in new friendships in China.

His providence in orchestrating my living situation in China (place, roommate, city, country, street, etc.)

His providence in bringing me to this particular school.

I THANK the Lord for my students and their individual personalities.

I THANK the Lord for the hugs my students give me.

I THANK the Lord for the way He has provided for me to use my “creative juices.”

I THANK the Lord for the opportunities He has provided for me to laugh.

I THANK the Lord for the opportunities He has given me to go OUT among Chinese people because I am teaching kindergarten (and not a higher grade).

I THANK the Lord for my TA at school and her on-task and focused abilities.

I THANK the Lord for my principal, the school administration in general, for the other kindergarten teacher, and for the other teachers that work at the ECC as well as in the elementary, middle school, and high school levels.

I thank the Lord for Chinese friends.

I thank the Lord for the opportunity to try Chinese food. (I can buy it, I can digest it, I am here and can eat it authentically.)

I thank the Lord for Gospel conversations.

I thank the Lord for my brain that can understand (?!) bits of theology.

I thank the Lord for theological discussions.

I thank the Lord that I can sing (vocal chords that work,) to Him and praise His name.

I thank the Lord for the intercession made for us.

I thank the Lord for His Spirit who groans for us in our weakness.

I have not been doing this enough in recent weeks. I resolve to repent.

"Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens! Praise Him for His mighty deeds; praise Him according to His excellent greatness! [...]
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!"
Psalm 150:1-6

Some Chinese Funnies

I have been a poor record-keeper in terms of the random funnies that happen along the way in China. Most of them are the "ya had to be there!" type. So, feel free. Come and visit.

Until the time of your visit, however; I will endeavor to keep better records of the funnies.

Here's a start.

I saw one of my Korean students digging deep into the sandbox. I was rather amazed at how deep he had gone. I started to call out, “Hey look! He's digging such deep holes in the sand he's digging all the way to…" then I realized what I was going to say and started laughing, "CHINA!!! BAHahahaha"

Three boys dressed up in “kingly” attire during their "imaginative play time." Without thinking I began to sing, “You three kings of Orient…” HAHAHAA!!!

Once again, I realized, "You ARE in the Orient!"

As I was passing out math assessments I was saying, “Here’s your pencil put your name and date on the paper.” I repeated it to each student as I handed them their pencil. My American student soon started to declare, “Put your name on the stinkin’ paper. Put your NAME on the stinkin' paper.”

He's a good translator. (haha)

These Asian students of mine are QUITE touchy. They like to hug and kiss and pat and pet. Most days I enjoy the hugs because I need a good round of hugs each day, but there are those days when I have been touched enough and I need some personal space. Back off, kindergarteners! (Oh so gently spoken.)

One of those days/moments came a couple weeks ago. I was trying to push them back and they kept coming forward. I finally asked, "Why do you all like to touch me so much?!"

I heard a Korean student reply, "We keep kissing and touching you because we LIKE you so much!"

Well...okay then.

Korean accent humor, "There are some letters I love to sing and bowels are their name-o!"

DO you love those bowels?

Chinese student representing his Japanese friend, "Miss Martin, do you want to marry Yugo?"

Teacher, "No, I don't want to marry Yugo."

Class, "OH!"

Bin, "Would you marry someone from China?"

Teacher, "Well, it doesn't matter what country they come from. What about you? Would you marry a girl from America?"

Bin, "Maybe."

Teacher, "Kevin, would YOU marry a girl who is not Korean?"

Kevin, "NO!"

Teacher, "Why not?"

Kevin, "Because we do not speak the same language."

Teacher, "What if the girl could speak English?"

Kevin, "No. I do not want to speak English. I want to speak Korean."

Kisses Lavishly Bestowed

Mothers of my acquaintance, you lavishly spend kisses on your children, never calculating how many you freely give each day.

I didn’t realize this until last Saturday.

A mother holds her newborn baby and gently kisses his head. This is not a planned way to help the newly arrived person to develop mentally and emotionally. She does not kiss his head because she read about it in her parenting book, (though she may have).

She does this because she has been waiting for his arrival, and now HE IS HERE! She has been loving this child for forty weeks, and now he is nestled in her arms.

The kiss is an overflow of her emotions. They reveal the precious reality.

Mothers lavishly spend kisses on their children, never calculating how many they freely give each day.

The child doesn’t think about the gift that has been bestowed on his head. As he gets older, squirms away from kisses, shuns kisses, and eventually refuses his mother’s kisses, he doesn’t cherish the thought of the kisses he has been given. That’s his mom. That’s what she’s supposed to do. (And, at eight, he’s too old and mature for that sort of thing.)

Mothers lavishly spend kisses on their children, never calculating how many they freely give each day.

Two Saturdays ago was a “horrible” time while leaving the orphanage. I put a baby (18 months old,) back in his crib and he began screaming bloody murder, grasping out his hands, wanting someone to stay with him and love him.

I left behind me a whole room of wailing children.

This last Saturday I went to the rehabilitation room. (This is the room where the nannies got mad at me for playing with the children’s socks and showing the babies how to throw their socks across the room. haha Oops.)

Last time I visited this room, a boy with cerebral palsy only cried and moaned when I held his hand. This Saturday he seemed to be feeling better. I began to hold his hand. I got closer to him and touched his face. He relaxed. I continued. Soon he smiled. Then, I got really crazed and hugged him and kissed him. He started laughing and smiling.

I did it with some of the other girls in the room as well. (Most of these children may have a form of cerebral palsy. All their arms are tied to the cribs in which they live. Most of them are between 12-14 years old. You wouldn’t know it unless you looked at their teeth.)

Mothers of my acquaintance, you lavishly spend kisses on your children, never calculating how many you freely give each day.

One girl who has never before shown facial expressions started smiling when I bent down and kissed her forehead.

Never have I said, “How thankful I am for my mother's kisses! They helped me develop emotionally and physically. Mother, I thank you!”

But, I should be thankful.

The babies at the orphanage just want kisses. They want their faces to be touched and “tickled”. They want someone’s voice to soothe them when they cry. They want to be comforted in their tears, not commanded to be quiet.

One little baby started crying. The nanny shouted at her to stop crying.

When the nanny left, I started “singing” with her sorrow. Her crying stopped. I walked over to her crib and just tickled her face. Her eyes stared up at me, surprised and bewildered, not sure if she would actually keep her silence.

After awhile, she began to fall asleep.

I kissed her face too.

Oh LORD! Bring security and safety to these precious babies who have none.

Now that I know, what will I do?

(Will you also contemplate this question?)

It’s all for the toilet?!

Early this morning I sat musing on my bed. Pondering life. My mind turned to the “Raising Healthy Children” psychological survey I take every year so they can see the affects parents have on their children. (I have participated in this University of Washington funded survey since I was in the second grade. I receive a nice compensation for my time.)

I began to compare my responses from last year to this year. I was excited to realize that this year I will be able to declare that my parents are not funding me in the least. It's all my own efforts.

I continued to process, “If my dad hadn’t asked me to come back and live with them I would have been paying for all my expenses long before this. Long ago I would have been able to show that I am a successful young person.”

Did you read that response?!

SHOCK!

Bleh.

Yick.

How does my inner being, apparently, define success?

It seems to be defined based on my independent ability to provide for myself – and impress others.

And what would I have expected myself to be providing in order to fulfill the “successful young person” category?

--a furnished and somewhat well-decorated (enough to give that “welcome home” feel) apartment

--enough food and furniture to invite others to join me, and be comfortable

--nice, well-fitting “young teacher” clothes

--fun and stylish outside of work clothes

And where is any eternal perspective in this list?

No where.

My inner core, my inner, cultural context has no eternal perspective.

Stumbling upon my own inner being begins to confirm my thoughts/theories that one of the main reasons [western] “Christian” young people aged 18-32 (we’ll paint in broad strokes,) are participating less and less in the church is that they don’t see its value.

The value of the Church is not in their/our inner, core culture. We don’t know why the church exists EXCEPT, perhaps, as an organization that’s supposed to keep you thinking about Jesus every week, or whenever you can find time to attend.

That’s a scary future for the culture of those people’s children, their eternity, as well as the culture of the nation.

And so, my age group will continue to plan life around their careers, seeking nothing more than multitudes of toilets they don’t actually need, in order to live.

We cannot stand without a foundation.

We cannot build a foundation when we don’t know its materials.

Wealth and My Heavenly Riches (Part 5)

In the midst of my typing and pondering and praying and asking and observing and wondering...

I think about Ephesians 1:3,
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ..."

1st Peter 1:3-5,
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time."

This is coupled with that Chris Tomlin song, "Jesus Messiah." My sight will be made whole.

...And I am concluding that I will be shamed because I will not have walked as a faithful servant.

I have KNOWN about my heavenly treasure. I have acknowledged and been filled with JOY about my heavenly treasure.

But do I live it out?

Do I walk in the knowledge of what He HAS (presently) given to me?

Do you KNOW what He has given to me?!

"EVERY spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."

EVERY!!!!!!

And yet, I don't believe it.
(Because then I would live differently. I would not live the same as this world.)

Do I live in faith?
Do I depend on Him for any thing?
Do I depend on Him for all things?

Do I live out the reality that I have heavenly treasure?

To some degree, sure.

The Holy Spirit lives in my heart and He works in me.
But, I don't want, "to some degree."

I want FULLY.
I want ALL THE WAY.

I want to love Him and live for Him FAITHFULLY FULLY!!!!!

How?

I don't know.
I don't understand.

LORD! Increase my faith.
Let China change me more. Not only in perspective of thinking, but in reality of my life actions.

(Maybe this is why the Lord did not let me go to Africa first...I would have been crushed.)

Wealth: The Questions (Part 4)

The way I am presently living (attitude, actions, thoughts, etc,) is that a good stewardship of my possessions?

Am I walking rightly?

If not, aren't I sinning?

So, what do I do?

How am I sinning?

How do I budget?

Do I budget? (Why or why not?)

How can I live more like Hudson Taylor and George Mueller? (Can I? Should I?)

How do I live more like Jesus? More like Paul?

Jesus didn’t have anywhere to put His head.

Should I be so concerned about my living conditions?

Why? Why not?

God did give me this identity as a “middle class (rich) American.”

The comfort of being taken care of monetarily is a BLESSING.

I must also praise the Lord.

Any thoughts or insight would be helpful, but I am not sure how many of you rich Americans I will trust…

(hahahaha That is sarcasm.)

Wealth: Lack of Praise-filled Stewarding (Part 3)

Some of you who read my other blog, (www.perambulatedramblings.blogpot.com) know that I have been thinking through books such as “Radical”, “Crazy Love”, and Shane Claiborne’s “Irresistible Revolution.”

It seems like the Lord is bringing them all together with this unveiling of my identity because….

I will say it again…

Now I am in China and I don’t have the ability to hide behind my American standards of “unwealth.”

For example, “Well, I am not rich. My family lives in an apartment.” Or, “look at my car and you’ll know I am not rich.”

But, I have a place to live…and did you see the HOME my family used to live in?!

I have a car.

Luxury.

Maybe that’s it.

I live and have lived a luxurious life and I never knew it.

I thought it was just regular and comfortable and the “country ideal.”

I thought it was homey.

I have always known that I am richer than the poor people, but I have also known that I am not rich like the rich people.

We are poorer than those people.

In my house we even use the phrase, “We are poor.”

I must repent from saying or thinking those words.

Sure, our budget is TIGHT.

Sure, we don’t have the fine things of other “middle class Americans,” (and that IS the culture they are living in,) but will God’s judgment for us be based on our “poor state”?

Does God view our life’s station as “poor”?

Are we thinking in and from a GODLY perspective?

A couple nights ago I was jogging around my apartment community, listening to Chris Tomlin’s “Jesus Messiah” song. The words talk about our eyes being opened and us understanding.

I finished my jog, stretched, and sat down on a bench to look at the windows high above my head.

My eyes will be opened. I will understand what I have been foolish to not accept.

How will I be judged according to how I used what was entrusted to my care?

How have I praised Him for the riches He has given to me to provide for my needs and for the needs of others?

(Have I wasted my opportunities to praise Him because I have been calling myself poor?!!)

How will I be judged for my sinful and wrong perspective of my possessions?

(“Oh, I am not rich. I don’t have very much. What can I do with my few possessions?”)

This can also be (as it was for me that night,) transferred over to our heavenly riches.

Do I walk as if I am presently blessed with all the riches in the heavenly places? (Ephesians 1)

Is that how I live NOW?

Why not?

How does that affect my stewardship?

Weath and the Realization (Part 2)

in America we always hear, “You are in the top tiny percent of people with all the money in the world and everyone else is poor because you are so greedy.”

And I listened.

I tried going for cheaper clothes, gave up the luxury of yogurt to set aside money for other people, tried buying the cheaper spices, tried to buy cheaper petrol, thought about the poor people, prayed for the poor people, gave my lunch to the people on the street, have been giving money because we should give to those who ask….

So what’s happened in this week?

Until now, I never realized my true wealth.

I never realized my need to praise Him for it and to change my perspective on who I am.

I never realized the disparity between me and them.

Between me and the POOR.

Between me and the middle class of China.

I am above the middle class in China!!!

I am not an African.

I am not a Chinese.

I am not an Indian (eastern).

(And yes, these countries, my country, do have their own VERY wealthy people, but that's beside the point. That is shluffing off the conviction.)

The point of conviction:

I never realized I am different.

And now pieces of my heart are crushed and broken.

I am convicted.

Wealth

My wealth is staring me in the face and I don’t know what to do with it.

Now I am in China and I don’t have the ability to hide behind my American standards of “unwealth”.

What do you do when the Chinese friend you met at English Corner comes to your home and unveils the fact that you have an ayi? (Chinese housekeeper)

How do you get rid of the awkward silence?

How do you remove her feelings of shock and being distanced?

I feel as if a blockade has risen between us.

(Could be temporary. Could be my imagination.)

Up until this point I have looked out my window at the Chinese riding their bikes, catching the bus, and walking on the street, and have seen them as my equals. I was seeking to identify with them. Now, it would seem, we are not equal, monetarily speaking.

The Lord is pounding me with this realization: I am monetarily RICH.

I don’t feel rich.

I don’t live rich.

I don’t like to do that.

But these “don’ts” and “aren’ts” are my American (“middle class,”) viewpoint.

I have never been the “top dog” in a group. It has suddenly struck me that I AM in China.

(American culture prefers to be the “struggling underdog”. I have always thought my station in life was one that could relate to most all and others.)

When my Chinese friend found out that Bethany and I have an ayi, there was such an awkward silence. She was processing it. I blabbed it out as a confession after she found a paper telling our ayi what to cook. (I have been trying to keep it a secret for a while now.)

Does a chasm now lie between us?

Rich American…Who always asks how much things are, is always talking about the “budget” of things, who never stops asking whether or not something is expensive…

What am I saving up to buy?

Saving up to try to go back to America. Saving up to give my sisters some money for college. Saving up to pay off my college debt, saving up so I can travel around the world and China…

But none of these are bad things.

Most of these are luxurious things.

It is not the world's normal.

My wealth in itself is not a bad thing.

Wealth is not evil.

I am just shocked that I am the wealthy one.

I am shocked at finding out about this piece of my identity.

(It is a piece of who I am on this earth. It is a piece of how the Lord will judge me. It is a part of my stewardship. Have I been PRAISING Him for it? –Another part of my conviction.)

Reality of Our Privilege

I grew up with:

--a mom
--a dad
--3 sisters
--dogs
--cats
--hamster
--rabbits
--fish
--goats
--mice
--rat
--loving neighbors
--friends
--woods
--acreage
--clean water
--a car
--clean air
--clothes
--toiletries
--multiples of bathrooms
--nature all around me
--deer, eagles, birds, bears, horses, cows
--chance to attain dreams
--imagination
--laughter
--Gd's word
--love
--sharing
--kindness
--food
--health
--doctors
--money
--jobs
--ability to think and process (yes...)
--bleach
--orthodontist
--dentist
--vacuums
--dryer
--washer
--plumbing
--dirt to play in
--weeds to pull
--flowers to smell
--grandparents
--uncles, aunt, cousins, great aunt
--chrch family
--sunsets
--sunrises
--mountains
--ocean
--diversity
--care
--kindness
--compassion
--family time
--games
--peace
--salvation
--identity
--security
--direction
--guidance
--discipline
--instruction
--music
--art
--exercise
--sports

I am realizing the reality of me as a minority in this world to a greater depth day by day.

What will I do with this stewardship?

Adopt More

I went to an orphanage for the first time last Saturday.
I plan to go back every Saturday.

It's one of the best orphanages in China, if not the world.

That's a scary statement.
(Though I have never seen any others in the world -- I have only heard other people's stories. I know it's better than the ones in Romania.)

And yet, that's not good enough, my friends.

On our tour, the bright paint on the walls, the fun looking cartoon characters, smiling children's faces, toys, nannies -- they all looked nice. On the tour I didn't notice the smell, or the lack of mobility of the children who should have no physical disabilities.

Then, I went for my first "duty".

As we said goodbye to the children we had been holding and loving, I wanted to weep.

Even now, seeing one boy's face as I gently "massage-tickled" under his chin, I just want to cry.
They just want to be touched. They just want to be loved.

Some of the babies' bodies are stiff because they haven't been touched and moved enough. Their joints are not right and don't move properly. I picked up one boy whose body was so thin... He would cry out every few minutes. He may have been hungry.

On the tour I went into a room where many older children (7-10) with cerebral palsy are kept. To prevent themselves from getting hurt, their arms and legs are tied to the beds.
One girl had such beautiful eyes. I made faces, sounds, and tickled her. She laughed and soon a little boy was watching as we played. I started interacting with him and he soon began giggling up a storm.
When I turned, I noticed another little girl watching, but silently. Her fingers are so long and delicate. So beautiful! So precious.
Such an existence.

I think the Lrd has been revealing to me that I have always loved orphans.
I have always loved the unloved. (Through Him.)

Don't forget them.

At this orphanage most of the children have disabilities because their parents dropped them off once they realized they were not perfect.
(If you can only have one kid, what are you going to do? Your kid is the one who has to take care of you when you're old. How can they if they have a disability?)

One girl is an albino with some other mental disabilities.
The nannies are harsher with her.

They are harsher with the cleft-pallet babies.

They shove food down the babies' throats to feed them quickly.
Some babies need more to eat and drink, but there's no time to attend to such needs.

The smell of the children reminded me of my hamster's cage when I would neglect to clean it for days.
They all get changed at particular times; no exceptions.

OH Lrd!
Won't You look down and hear their cries?
Will You bring the families?
Will You protect their hearts and minds from bitterness and hatred?
Will You be the Father of the fatherless?
Will You defend their cause?

But...will You wait until after they are dead?
Does judgment only come at the end?

Hear the call to defend the poor and needy!

We know, but what will we DO?

Don't limit your faithfulness to what you feel YOU can do, what will He empower you to do? What has He given you the ability to dream of doing in His strength?

He has reminded me, yet again, that I cannot save the world.
Even if I could help all the babies in China, what about the ones in Uganda? What about the ones in India? What about the ones longing to be lovingly touched in Romania?

What about the ladies forced into the sex trade?
What about those who are starving?
What about those who have been chased off their land and out of their families?

Pry...and ACT.

Indeed, James 1:27 comes to mind and it is backed up by the rest of the Word. (Habakkuk, Amos, Isaiah, etc.)

If ever I am married, (and maybe the Lrd will work out a different way to make this possible?) a seed has been planted in my mind: India, Uganda, China, Romania, US -- all coming to my house. (As the Lrd would will and provide.)

We'll see what the future actually holds.

Pry fervently...What will He have you do???

Funny Accident (in the classroom)

We were talking about Babel.
I asked them why this was a bad thing the people had chosen to do.
"Sin."
Why did they sin?

I thought the answer, "Satn" was going to pop out of their mouths, but another was given according to what I had been teaching.

But, "Satn" was still in my mind.

I have a student whose name is "Santino."

The child raised his hand to answer my question. (All the while I have these thoughts running around in my head.)

As I opened my mouth to call on him, I was horrified to hear, "Yes, Satan?" flow from my lips.

I tried to pretend like nothing had happened.
But, all the other students stopped and stared.
I couldn't keep it in any longer and burst out laughing.
They all started laughing...except poor, Santino.

I asked his forgiveness. I tried to make a good explanation as to why I would call him Satan.

Pretty soon the whole classroom was realizing how closely "Santino" and "Satan" sound.
"Satan -- Santino. hahaha Hi Satan! Hi Santino!"

Oh, dear, dear.

Somehow, with my language skills as they are, I distracted the students from my faux pas and moved us on to conclude our discussion on people's sin in building the tower of Babel.

Oh my!

Almost tops my slip of the tongue when, after accidently hitting a student's owie/boo-boo, I exclaimed, "OH! I am sorry, I just hit your boobie!"

Got a shocked stare from that slip-up too.

"No, no! I was thinking 'boo-boo' and 'owie' at the same time!!"

I need to get my brain in check. It's misdirecting my tongue.

Kindergarteners

Frankly, I don't know that kindergarten is the grade for me, but I know that these particular students ARE for me and the Lrd has placed me with them for that reason.

I praise the Lrd that I have a TA (Chinese national named Nancy,) who knows all the school's systems, is a hard worker, organized, stays on task, is often self-motivated, and is like-minded. (Her job as my TA is to do many of the mundane tasks that I do not like about teaching -- INCLUDING grading, submitting attendance, and submitting the lunch count.)

I also praise the Lrd for the other kindergarten teacher. This is her 6th (7th?) year teaching kindergarten and it is her second year teaching at this school in China. She is willing to share all that she has. That is SO wonderful. I am thankful. (But I don't want to take advantage of her and "slack off".)

My students are unique. I have some characters.

Whenever I tell Chinese people that I teach kindergarten, their first response is, "AHH! They are naughty."
From this comment I have made the assumption that in China 5/6 year olds (and below,) are not made to obey.
This could be true for Asian culture.
(But I don't know enough to be entirely sure.)

I have noticed this:
--English learners know how to pretend they don't know that you are saying their English name.
--American children do not touch/hug as much as (stereotyping,) Asian children. (I say "Asian" because I have very touchy Chinese, Korean, and Japanese students.)

One Chinese boy likes to hit my booty, and wrap his leg around my leg while he calls me his mommy or "Miss Partin". (He is actually one of the smartest kids in my class and knows English very well. He is very good to consistently remind me that he was born in Boston.)
One Chinese girl likes to ferociously grab my arm and kiss it multiples of times. (She was born in Australia. She is a lower level English speaker, but she is understanding more and more each day.)
One Korean girl likes to sit close and cling to my arm.
One Japanese boy (the only one in my class,) likes to stand SO close and likes to HUG and likes to HOLD my arm.
My American students, (there are two of them): I initiate the hugs. The girl has hugged me of her own accord...maybe twice.

"Whoa! Whoa!" I have wanted to exclaim a few times, "I enjoy hugs, but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with all this loving."

I have had to institute the expression, "One kiss and you are done." "One hug, and you go change your shoes." "Right action at the right time."
(Most all equipped with body language signs and cues.)

Bin has had to move his bee for swatting my booty.
It's not okay in the States and it's not okay in my Chinese classroom either, little buddy.

The curriculum is interesting.

Math is first grade Saxon. (Whoa! Language can be an issue.)
I teach social studies and the other kindergarten teacher teaches science. (Sad day!)
I am trying to make social studies as exciting as possible. My lessons have been on (according to their pre-written schedule/curriculum,) rules (snoozer-oony!!) and maps.
Maps was only supposed to be one lesson, but I extended it to two. We need to learn the terms north, south, east, and west. It takes longer than one 45 minute lesson to cover maps adequately.
(Remember, they are kindergarteners and require movement and singing and change of pace.)

Language arts is interesting and can be slightly frustrating. The school has a good system in place, but I am not mentally there yet. From my "still newcomer" perspective, I don't agree with all that the system does. I feel like I need more decodable books. And, it also seems like they are chugging along a bit too quickly for kindergarten, especially for English learners. I need to focus my mind, remind myself of what teachers do, and use some reading groups to teach how to blend sounds together.
(The curriculum already wants them reading and soon we'll be going into long vowel sounds, digraphs and consonant blends! Oh my!!)

In "the book" we just finished creation, fall, briefly went over the flood, this last week we discussed Babel, and this next week we will be look at Samuel's life and how we must hide Gd's word in our hearts.
Last weeks' theme has been "Gd sees my sn." I tried to emphasize that nothing we do on our own can make us good.
Perhaps I need to edit my teaching a bit because we did a fun "VIP" poster for a student to express our love for him, etc and one of the kids (without malice,) suggested that we write, "Kevin is not good." On his poster. HAHAHA!!!
The consistent question of late has been, "Why did Gd put the tree in the garden?" "Why did Gd make Satn?"
I have taken them to Romans 9 and encouraged them to learn how to read, to continue to ask questions, and to study His word.

The resources at this school are INCREDIBLE. Wow! Far above my expectations.

The guards at our school are great.
Our maintenance man is FUNNY. He speaks no English, though I am sure he understands quite a bit, and he likes to speak to the English speaking teachers in Chinese even if we have no idea what he is saying.
The other day my TA said that he called me "healthy" looking...I do wonder if she translated correctly...

Overall:
The principal is wonderful and very supportive.
Open house went well. I used an interpreter for my non-English speaking Korean moms. (Interesting experience. Nice to have time to think things through between statements.)
Parent interaction is much less than what I experienced at Grace Academy. (I do miss that aspect some times!)
It is "hard" to get used to ALWAYS having people around: TAs, ayi's, guards, etc. I was telling my TA, "I can never just close my door and take a nap, or close my door turn up the music, and dance to exude energy." There's always the chance of someone entering at an awkward moment.
I'll get over that.
Soon enough, I'll sleep when my students are watching me! (Just kidding.)