Frustrated with the "Normal Guilt"

I happened upon this blog when I was preparing to write my other blog about normal.

She tell the tale of how she and her husband didn't want to live the "normal Christian life" when they were first married, but how marriage, children, and a mortgage changed those aspirations. She continues to say that they soon realized the idol of complacency and comfort in their hearts and decided to change the trajectory of their lives. They sold their home and got involved in full time ministry.

I only skimmed through her writing, but I found the conclusion of her post and one of the comments she received intriguing.

Her conclusion (Underlines added are mine):
They [friends] are displaying the gospel, and there is nothing normal about their lives. And every time I get off the phone with her, all I want is to have nothing normal about our lives. She still bleeds God, and her life is being poured out on the neediest and the most broken. She traded entitlement for surrender, and God took her up on it.
What if heaven and God and forever became our normal?
Wouldn’t that change everything?

One of three comments the post received:
Normal.  Right.  Sometimes I would love to be normal.  Instead, I am a 59-year-old-maid who set aside career plans to care for my mother in her declining years until she passed.  Yes, I have a family, I'm guardian for a disabled brother and uncle.  Yes, I have a house...all 700 square feet of it...in need of new wiring, plumbing and a roof...and no way to pay for them.  Yes, I have a job...actually three of them, but none provide health insurance, and the combined income still leaves me well below the poverty level. Sorry to whine, but when it takes everything to just get by, "doing great things for God" just sort of flies out the window.

My heart grieves for this lady! Her "great thing" seems to have been right under her nose the whole time, but she has chosen bitterness instead.

My response to the comment:
I would like to say that whatever you are doing, when done with the right heart and attitude, can be the "great thing" God Himself has given you to do. (Ephesians 2:10 -- The works that He has prepared for you to walk in.) I struggle to answer how "normal life" can be a great thing for God, but it's not the doing that He cares about, but the relationship of love. It sounds like the Lord has given you "great things" to do in caring for your mother, brother, and uncle while working three jobs (dying to self). I hope that your heart will be comforted and the Lord will show you how He has allowed these things for His glory and your sanctification in Him.

 I was particularly moved because this is my struggle. I have two fears in life:
1) I don't want to be alone for ever. (Without my sisters in particular.)
2) I don't want to live a complacent, comfortable, un-sacrificed life. (I don't want to be "normal".)

I desire to be known for accomplishing a great task (for the Lord). I want to be one who has taken risks and started things. I want to stand up for the rights of the poor and feeble.

As displayed in this woman's blog and the reader's response, we have wrongly connected "not normal" and "heavenly focus." Our eyes are supposed to be fixed on Jesus, not the way to be the most radical. We've then said that service in the slums and/or foreign countries are the best ways to not be normal.

We as a culture, and I know that I in my own heart, need to assess and re-define "normal", "radical", "heavenly focus", and our calling in Jesus.

(Here's the quick answer:
Whatever we have to do -- do it as to Jesus!)

Hating Normal

 Mini: Not Normal (commercial)
 "Normal isn't great. It isn't fantastic. Normal can never be amazing."

The commercial revealed the desperation of mankind to have a glorious identity and a fulfilling purpose.

I started crying before Les Miserables even started.

Most of us are normal. Though it has been said that "the only normal people you know are the ones you don't know well enough," most of us are not above average. Most of us will never not be average. That's why there are "standardized" tests and procedures. We are normal.

And yet, what is the normalcy in which we [the culture of America] have allowed ourselves to be cooked?
Stupidity.
Laziness.
Discontentedness.
Selfishness.

And our hearts are aching.

We, the people, reach for drugs, clubs, music, sex, world travels, coffee, cars, clothes trying to escape the feeling of being normal, complacent, comfortable, average. We (particularly those Americans between 18-34,) are choking to find a purposeful identity, but it's being shoved in our faces as something that we need to go out and buy, or make, or become, or accomplish for the world.

Christians have this problem too. We don't want to be normal. We feel the guilt of enjoying our middle-class luxuries while those "other people" are dying in poverty and biblical ignorance.

And how do we stop up this pain?

Crying.
Mission trips.
Giving money.
Discussing our shock and horror.

Is this the biblical view?

Is being normal (living a comfortable, middle class American lifestyle,) a sin?
--It depends on who we choose to serve. God or money? Do we hold on to our possessions and position with a tight fist? Are we willing to share and give sacrificially when and as the Lord directs?

Was Jesus normal?
--In many ways, yes. Most Bibline heroes were normal people who stepped up when the Lord called. It was not that they cut their own path to be radical -- they just trusted and obeyed when the Lord directed.

Have we forgotten our identity?
--The world dies in their pursuit of "radical" and "anti-normal" because they do not know for Whom they live. But we who have been born again and are purchased by the blood of Jesus in order to share in His inheritance and to be built up as His living temple, have we neglected our calling?

Paul's letters were written to people living normal lives. His letters promoted the idea of normal lives being lived out.
Don't be busybodies.
Work hard as if you were working to Jesus.
If you were saved as a slave, stay a slave.
If you were saved as a free man, stay a free man.
Offer your bodies as living sacrifices.
Live so people will see you and glorify God.

The world is feeding us lies of distraction and death.

"Normalcy" isn't the problem. Forgetfulness is the problem.

The commercial made me cry because I thought about those acting in the commercial and represented by the commercial. All they want is to know that they are important and have a purpose in living, but they refuse to go to the One who satisfies.

Constantly searching for a release from themselves and a salvation from the lives they try to love, but they won't look to Him who is beyond comprehension and who has created them for His eternal purpose.

They want to be valued and identified, but they will not look to the One in whose image they have been created.

I cried for their blindness, for their hopelessness, for their despair. They grasp and consume in vain, when He is near! The glorious One calls out to them, but they will not listen. 

Louder they sing their woeful tunes, higher they punch their clenched fists, faster they drive their cars, and longer they curse their wasted existence.

May those who have their identity in the Beloved not grow hard to the cries of the world, nor be ensnared in the chains of their idles. <- font="font" pun="pun" purposeful="purposeful">

Human Trafficking -- Video Links

Video links for quick-hit information:

To research more: US Trafficking
I highly recommend: Nefarious: Merchant of Souls 
Another highly recommended: The Pink Room

Global Slavery -- Human Trafficking

This June I went with the high school summer trip to Phnom Pehn to work with children who are at high-risk for being trafficked into the sex industry, or who are currently being sold for sex. The trip has made an impact on my thinking and worldview. I have asked more questions and sought to discover more answers about the reality of this industry. I write what I have learned below.

The average age of the children in the sex industry is 12-14, but these are the numbers given by the people who “own” them. In a village in Cambodia, the bloodstained pajama pants of a 7-year-old girl were found in a brothel after a raid. We learn that some children are younger.

What I have realized since my time in Cambodia is that it is not just a “third-world” or Asian problem. Human trafficking is the fastest growing industry in the world. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) And that growth is happening throughout European countries as well as in the United States.

Why is it so successful? Its success comes from the strong mafias controlling the system throughout the world. These are powerful men who are able to payoff taxi drivers, officials at borders, document forgers, and the “slaves’” new owner.

These men also make sure to control their victims through brutal forms of psychological and physical abuse. They don’t want their valuable commodities escaping from their possession.

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Human trafficking is modern-day slavery and the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world. There are many aspects and different pockets to what we call the “human trafficking industry." Generally speaking, human trafficking is when people of any age are forced to work or have sex because they have been tricked, sold, or coerced into this life.

The United Nations estimates that 2.5 million people are trafficked every year. The U.S. State Department estimates an even higher number: about 12.3 million adults and children "in forced labor, bonded labor, and forced prostitution around the world."

No less than 55,000 women and children are sex slaves in Cambodia, 35 percent of which are younger than 18 years of age. 

http://www.teamwmi.org/educational-information/human-trafficking-facts-figures/

Human trafficking starts when the traffickers notice those who are vulnerable.

Some are vulnerable because they live in the countryside, their families are poor, and their parents need a way to make money. Much of the time in Cambodia, parents have agreed to sell their children.

Other victims are taken because they are tricked into thinking that there is a chance for a better life in another part of their home country or in another country altogether. When they go with these people, they discover the reality of the horrifying life they have entered.

Others have already been physically abused and think if they can make money to sell themselves, why not do it?

But when you become a slave, you don’t get to keep the money. Traffickers and pimps often keep the money and beat their property until the slaves can no longer hope to ever escape.

This criminal-industry is experiencing rapid growth worldwide because human traffickers are realizing that they can make more money if they sell girls than they can if they were merely selling drugs. Traffickers see that they can only sell drugs once – and then, the sale is finished. But, if you sell girls, they can be sold many times each night they work, and they can continue to work this job for 6-8 years.

Currently, Cambodia’s illegal sex trade generates $500 million a year. In the United States, sex trafficking brings in $9.5 billion annually. According to the United Nations, sex trafficking brings in an estimated $32 billion a year worldwide.

With such a huge problem all around the world – men, women, and children being used as slaves, being bought and sold as if they were a pair of underwear at the market – I want to ask, how am I going to respond to this information?

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)

(James, Isaiah, Amos, Habbakuk, etc.) 

Video links for quick-hit information:
To research more: US Trafficking
I highly recommend: Nefarious: Merchant of Souls 
Another highly recommended: The Pink Room
 

Global Slavery

Article in The Atlantic

Slavery's Global Comeback

(Long article -- I post here mainly because I want to be able to refer back to it myself.)

Free the Slaves

A seemingly good resource. I post it here so that I can use it for further exploration.

Addictions of Various Kinds

Interesting websites that some friends brought to my attention:

South Korea "Digital Addiction" -- It's actually pretty crazy how deep this addiction is running.

Fasting from Facebook (school project) -- Interesting idea, but how long will the "mountain top experience" (aka technology-less hype) last?
(I must admit that my time away from Facebook has been nice, though there have also been times -- at this moment, in fact -- when I would like to sign back on to share something and/or to look at a sister's picture that people are commenting on. I see the comments in my email box.)

Argentina Mom Rescues Sex Slaves -- Happens in the States too. I just watched a powerful documentary about the worldwide sex trade. I am about to finish the book, "Not for Sale".
("About finished" meaning -- before I return to the States for Christmas.)

Anti-Aging Creams

I have been on the “Good Housekeeping” website in order to (why??) search for their reviews of point-and-shoot cameras. (I don’t know why I went there to do that.)

As I searched, I kept seeing all these advertisements for “anti-aging” creams. Now I want to know: who was the original marketer of those types of products? Who was the one who coined the phrase “anti-aging cream”?

Then comes my next question: who are the ones that have bought in to such a thing?

Me. My culture. Not that I have ever purchased any of the aforementioned products, but I have never before seen the lie in the phrase.

Anti-aging cream? Really? Yes, yes, I know. It’s against the aging process. It’s trying to ward off the aging process. But guess what? It’s going to happen.

It’s a hopeless case. What you are paying to prevent – what you are “waging war against” is all in vain.

I suppose you couldn’t (and wouldn’t) market your product as the “slowly-aging cream” or the “gracefully-aging cream.” (Maybe I would feel better if that was its name.)

But, I can’t fight off the aging process. If I don’t die before it happens – I know that the affects of aging will overcome me.

Why do we allow ourselves to be tricked? Why do want to be “forever young”? Why do we spend so much time, money, and attention preventing the aging process? It’s going to happen.

I just want to be worthy of my wrinkles.

I know there will come a day when I will pass by a mirror and take a second glance because I can’t believe that the gray, sagging person I see is the person I have become, but why should I fear those days? Why should I build up this anxious need to push those days back with creams and colors?

They may soften my appearance, but it can’t change reality. Sin has come and we wither, decay, grow old, and die.

Of course, don’t believe me yet. Wait until I get there. See what I do when the reality of aging has arrived.

(Just don’t tell me too bluntly that you see the affects of its coming when it does.)

*Disclaimer: I am not against keeping ourselves healthy and “life-ful”. I advocate the use of lotion and staying out of the harmful rays of the sun. I am merely disgusted by the push of the product and the self-focused marketing campaign behind it.*

My New Favorite Animal

In our class we have been studying the rainforest. This week it has been an intense study of the rainforest. We have covered -- anacondas. :) Tomorrow I HOPE we can press on to harpy eagles and sloths. (We were supposed to move on from anacondas/boa constrictors TO sloths today, but I blab on far too long. -- Yesterday we mapped out how anacondas eat and today we measured how many kindergarteners are needed to make an anaconda. Fun.)

To the point of the blog post: as I have been reading and "studying" over the various animals in the rainforest I think I have found a new favorite animal. Well, at least a new SECOND favorite animal. (I think my FIRST favorite animal must still go to the Orca whale.)

Anyways, my new (second) favorite animal is... the ... SLOTH.

I hope this does not reflect on my character. --ha ha--

I just think they are cute. Those long arms, the round eyes, the LONG nails -- cute.

I also started to enjoy them because, guess what? They are highly misunderstood.

Do you realize WHY they go so slow? Do you realize WHY they sleep 12-14 (?) hours a day? It's because of their diet. The stuff (leaves) they eat do not give them enough energy to move a lot and/or to move with speed. We are each created differently and with different/unique gifts and talents. God has made them to be slow and He has limited them to need a lot of sleep. Don't mock. He is glorifying God when he is hanging from the tree and sleeping. (Did you know they have such a strong grip that some remain attached to the tree even after death? They go to the bathroom -- on the rainforest floor -- about once a week because they drink so little water. They are good swimmers.)

I think it's humorous that his hair grows algae because he hangs from the trees for so long.

A video I am thinking about showing to the students tomorrow... in order to "integrate" the teaching of the sloth AND the harpy eagle...

Harpy Eagle Grabs the Sloth

Though it may be a bit too traumatizing, I feel it shows the AWESOMENESS of God's creation, the power and size of the harpy eagle...and the helplessness of the poor sloth, who was chosen to be dinner.

There's also some great videos about sloths crossing the road. (No, they don't get squished.)

God and Life

“Trusting God for what he has done positions our hearts to trust God for what he has promised to do.” – Mike Bullmore

When I am fully trusting God for what he has done, trusting that Christ really did take my sin upon himself, that he really did pay the penalty for it, that I really have been forgiven, that I really am fully and finally reconciled to God—when I trust God in all of this, my heart is now positioned to trust God for what he has promised he will do today and in the future. And what has he promised to do? He has promised to make me holy. He has promised to sanctify me, to help me put sin to death and to replace it with joyful obedience. He has promised that the Holy Spirit is operating within my life to bring me into closer conformity with Jesus Christ. He has promised that the very same power that has saved me is now sanctifying me. Now I have hope and confidence that this really is happening and that this really can happen. I really can put sin to death, I really can grow in holiness, I really can grow in Christ-like character and look more and more like the One who saved me.

--Tim Challies

“...The Christian life is simply a process of having your natural self changed into a Christ self, and that process goes on very far in time.
One’s most private wishes, one’s point of view, are the things that have to be changed...As long as the old self is there it’s taint will be over all we do.
We try to be religious and become pharisees. We try to be kind and become patronizing. Social service ends in red tape of officialdome.
Unselfishness becomes a form of showing off. I don’t mean of course that we’re to stop trying to be good.
We’ve got to do the best we can...The real cure lies far deeper. Out of our self and into Christ we must go.”

 - C.S.Lewis

My Students - God's Work

During my time in China I don't think I have allowed myself to fully "soak in" the delight of the opportunity I have with my students. I suppose I take it for granted. I don't stop to consider the actual weight of influence that I may have (through the Lord,) even in and especially in a life so young. I talk about it and I get energized about it, but ... maybe I don't believe it?

In these last days (weeks? months?) I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed, fatigued, and discouraged. The other morning, after I had spent the early morning hours continuing to press the snooze button in an effort to rebel against myself; I was at school, fulfilling my morning bus duty. 

As is the joy (no sarcasm) of morning bus duty, I was greeted with hugs and hellos by various present, former, and other students. It was nice, but the DELIGHT came when I was greeted by a student from last year for whom I have been praying.

I have heard from his first grade teacher that his heart has hardened. This saddens me greatly because last year he asked such wonderful questions, had grown in his interest of spiritual things, and was always reminding us to pray for his parents -- who do not allow him to have a Bible or pray at home. I made a purposeful effort to remind him that sometimes the Lord says a quick yes, sometimes a quick no, and sometimes He tells us to wait. I tried to encourage him to endure while he prayed for his parents. But, at 6, he had become discouraged. He was at the point of giving up.

After hearing this I made sure to stop him during a lunch and ask him how he and Jesus were doing. He turned away from me and said that it wasn't good. I asked why. "I don't know," was his reply. I let him know that I would be praying for him. We continued our conversation with smiles and hugs.

Since that meeting this boy will run and JUMP to hug me when he sees me on morning bus duty. (I have bus duty once per month.) On this particular morning bus duty, just a few days ago, he continued his normal greeting and then told me, "I dreamed about Jesus last night!"

Praise the Lord for His timing -- that I would be doing bus duty on that morning!

I asked what his dream was about. With the noise of the other students passing by, buses driving up, etc I couldn't really hear the details of his dream. There was Jesus, there was a road, and Jesus walked on it. "I didn't cry," he said. 

(Last year, he thought he was a Christian because he cried when he prayed -- and Christians cry when they pray, he informed me.)

I brought him in for another hug and spoke in his ear, "I will keep on praying for you! I want you to know Jesus." I hugged him tight, he smiled, and then ran to his part of the school.

Two students of mine from last year returned to their home countries after the first semester. One to Korea and the other to Japan. I continue to pray for the seeds of God's Word to sprout in their souls. They were asking good, thoughtful questions last year. They have returned to (potentially) difficult countries.

I often think of my students from my first and second years of teaching. I have kept a list of names and pictures of both classes as reminders to pray.

And so, if I am forgotten, I suppose that is all right, but I pray the Lord would use the seeds I have tried to scatter. I haven't had many students yet, and so I pray they would all be saved and would be leaders who love and know Him. I pray that they wouldn't be consumed by the world. I pray that I would be able to accurately and lovingly present the Gospel to my students and help them to think through their world from a biblical perspective.

As my Chinese friends are often amazed to hear -- these young children can understand. They already ask questions and ponder the reality of God and the presence of a Creator. Why not supply them with answers grounded in the Truth? Why not teach them theological Truths? Why not teach them to search and probe their own hearts now? What an influence THAT can be! There are answers. There is Truth. You must think.

May the Lord redeem their souls.

Monday October 3rd

This is a draft, but if I don't publish it -- it will be next year and unshared. I publish.

 On Monday I went to an foster care/"orphanage" in Liang Fang.

Today orphanage. Tug, tug, tugging… (on my heart)

Today walking to YG100 – ate a WONDERFUL egg/fat wrap. (These things are absolutely DELICIOUS!)

Today April – never adopted from Tianjin orphanage. “Chatted it up” in Chinese. (She's around 30 years old now. She works at a factory in Liang Fang.)

Today met a doctor – conversations – the initiation, the exchange of numbers, the text message. (This was QUITE humorous. I have not heard from him since. Praise the Lord! His son and wife were also there -- so it wasn't as sktechy as it could have been. Good grief, me and old men.)

Today overwhelmed with the crazy reality of my life. (What's new?)
 

Today in the AM (early) – 2 minutes before I was needing to leave to go to the orphanage, I sent out an invitation for ladies to come over for a tea. I didn’t think most would be able to come on such short notice – particularly the moms.
I was wrong.
I guess the moms just want to get out. 

I am SO excited for them to come over!!! I haven’t had many mixed-aged ONLY ladies groups come over since being in China. I miss these types of things. (It was, in fact, slightly awkward, but lovely. I haven't been able to do it since because life has been BUSY, but I wish I could. It seems like this is a need in the community. And, I would enjoy getting to know these ladies anyways.)

 

Today I purchased red-skinned peanuts in their airtight packaging rather than kidney beans. (Foolish. English writing was on the outside, but I continue to mistake peanuts in the tight plastic as kidney beans. PLUS! I was rushing through the store. It was about to close and I didn't want them to walk up to me and say in Chinese, "You idiot. We are closing." Or, they would just stare at me. Normal, true. More background information: these kidney beans were supposed to be used in a vegetarian chili. I had to improvise. It worked out. The ladies ate the WHOLE pot. Booyah. I praise the Lord.)
 

Gangnam, Obama, and Translation

Problems in Translating (the Bible)
I think I have a greater appreciation for these troubles.

Some Chinese people who watched this actually thought it was the real President. Apparently, as noted on micro blogs, people thought this helped his public image. Hmmm...

International Fellowship

I LOVE IT!
Not that this was always the case.

The music can be off key -- keyboardists play a variety of random notes between songs to "create the mood" while vocalists also play a variety of random notes to express their joy and love for the Lord. Whew! So many notes creates an interesting atmosphere.

But, I have learned to appreciate it. I have learned to see past the notes, to see the singers and players in a cultural as well as a "worshipful" light. They sing to the Lord, not me.

The preaching-teaching was something I had to get used to as well. We have a rotation of teaching men and they each have about 20-30 minutes to teach. Most recently we were going through the book of Revelation. Whew! We certainly went through it, but without much depth to the teaching.

And yet, I have learned to contain my expectations and look for a depth of teaching else where -- and particularly in my own reading/study of the Bible. I have learned to appreciate the sermons (by a couple men in particular) that are challenging and Scripture-filled when we get them. I have also learned to appreciate the progress in teaching the other men (could be) making when they come up to teach. I have seen growth in the skill of our teachers.

So, why do I "LOVE IT"?

It's a picture of what Eternity with Him will be like. Men from every tribe, tongue, and nation will be gathered before Him to make a joyful NOISE before Him! We will all be singing and praising His Name and we won't all be praising in the same way. We won't all be standing still. We won't all be dancing with vigor. We won't all be lifting our hands. We won't all be sitting down. (For a time, of course, we will all be bowing before Him.)

I also LOVE different CULTURES!

The Lord is so good because He brought me to work in China, and I also get small pictures of what it's like to sing praises in the African way. (Not that all African countries worship in the same way. There's different "worship cultures" too.)

A few weeks ago a man from Kenya led the singing time. We sang in 4 or 5 different languages to represent some of the diversity in our congregation. There's two songs we sing in Swahili and I absolutely LOVE them!  One is about God being the King of Africa, and then we switch out "Africa" for the names of other locations. Another has a line, "SING! In the Af-ri-can WAY!" (Could be the same song, but I don't think it is...)

To express their worship, people sometimes come down the aisles just singing and dancing. (Last time the one who started the train was a guy from Sri Lanka.) Nobody was giving dirty looks. Nobody was "blaming them for being a distraction or trying to gain attention for themselves." (Because -- as far as it is my ability to see their hearts -- they AREN'T doing it to gain attention for themselves.)

The musicians on the stage often dance, shout, sing, and clap as well. When the Lord has given you joy -- let your joy be made known to all the people. I love that there is the freedom to sit, stand, move, raise hands, have hands at side, sing quietly, sing loudly, on key, off key, on beat, off beat, dance, remain still -- freedom in the Lord to allow the Holy Spirit to move and use you in the way He has wired you to be.

In our fellowship we have had people from over 50 countries in the last 6 months. We are a group of transitioning people made up of university students, English teachers, business people, and the like. We have (and had) people from Bolivia, Burundi, New Zealand, Rwanda, Nigeria, Uganda, Eritrea, Congo, Coast d'Ivoire, Equatorial Guinea, Hong Kong, Ethiopia, Russia, India, Sri Lanka, Germany, France, Tanzania, Ghana, Philippines, Korea, Japan, Canada, United States, Lebanon, Nepal, Kenya, and others I have not mentioned.

What's a thrill to my being are the conversations and interactions I have been able to have with some of these people -- representing places I have wanted to go in order to meet the people.

I asked a man from Kenya why he wanted to learn Chinese. He has a love for Kenya and wants to see it grow strong in the business world. His plan is to learn Chinese, return to Kenya, build businesses, and establish strong business relationships with China.

I spoke with a man from Uganda who was sent to China to study the organization and discipline of the Chinese military so he could go back to Uganda and help train the soldiers there.

A few weeks ago I met a girl whose dad is from India and whose mom is from Sri Lanka. We started talking, she and her boyfriend invited me for lunch, we went, and it was great. I got to hear about their lives in Tianjin as medical students who need to study in Chinese and about their home cultures.

So many people find a special fellowship in this congregation, grow in their faith, and then, after finishing their studies, go back to their home countries with a stronger faith in the Lord and His power. And their ministry to national students on the university campuses is from the Lord as well.

The man who is the "primary shepherd" for the international university students is one of the men whose preaching I look forward to. We don't agree on everything, but he has challenged me and my perspective. His love and passion for the Lord is an example and a challenge and he pours so much energy and attention into the university students. I praise the Lord for him and his faithful ministry.

I do love it.
I can't wait for the "days" when we will all be united with Him as a mass of nations -- all built together as His Body and His Temple; living stones beautifully chosen and arranged in diversity.

Football, Boys, and Korean Girls

Ahh!! These kids. Not quite as hyper-active as my first graders at Grace Academy, but they are VERY active. I love it. (Imagination and energy are my top delights in children.) When they walk to line-up, they hop because they just need to release a bit (more) of their energies.

I have one “all-American” boy who brought his small “nerf” football to school. 

“Miss Martin!” 

“Yes, Oliver?” 

“I brought my football!” 

“Oh YES! I am so excited!” 

“Miss Martin!” 

“Yes, Oliver?” 

“Want to come out and play FOOTBALL?!!?!?!” He furrowed his blonde eyebrows with intensity. His sparkling blue eyes were gleaming in delighted anticipation of my answer. 

"OF COURSE I DO!!!!" Mine was an equally enthusiastic reply.

After lunch recess, I let my students stay out for a bit of extra play time... (instead of “rest reading time.” heh heh) And I taught my (primarily) Korean class how to play American football. 

From the beginning I had my doubts about this plan. Korean (girls) are usually a bit more fragile than most. But, Oliver was pretty pumped -- and I had been wanting to play some FOOTBALL too.

The class itself seemed pretty excited, and so we went for it.

They decided that it would be best to split up boys and girls. Fine. Fine. I explained two-hand touch football, where they should be running, how to hold the ball while running, and that the boys must try to be GENTLE and KIND with the girls while playing. (Sure.)

We began.

A couple plays into the game, the girls had the ball. The most petite of the Korean girls snatched up the ball, wove her way through the kindergarten crowd, and got to her team's touchdown line. The boys caught up and pretty much mooshed her. (So much for gentility.)

Intensity was the expression on every face. Boy, girl, they were all pulling for the ball. 

The rest of the girls came and they joined in the foray with equal determination. 

And then, the sound of tears. An injured (Korean, female) student.The same one who had scored the touchdown.

Within seconds of the touchdown (actually) I was at the mob, trying to break it up and pull the small girl up from the side-bottom of the pile.

The teeniest piece of skin had been scratched from her finger.

I wanted to give her the wise wisdom my father often gave to me, “Why don’t we go rub some dirt on it?” Or, “There’s no crying in football!” But, I refrained.

I made her stand up.

I inspected the small scratch on her finger, kept her pulled in to a tight hug, and then declared that there could be no more football unless the girls were ready to get hurt. 

A couple were willing to play again. The boys were all for it. We continued playing a 5-year-old international version of football, but we had a great time. (After I had finished soothing the injured student and had showed the boys how to show compassion to a girl who has been hurt. Yes. Yes.)

I am thankful for Oliver’s American spirit. We continue to play football with some other brave souls at some of our “outdoor playtime.” It’s great. He likes to be tackled and I like to pound him down on the grass -- while he giggles with delight. (Of course.)

Post Note: The next day the injured girl came up to me to show me her wound. She used some words like, "Look Miss Martin, my football injury is getting better!" hah hah I do wonder what her parents thought of us. "Yeah, we played American football today. Miss Martin showed us how to play, then I got smooshed."

Today in My Classroom Nov 1

Today I washed my hair.

Today one of my students came up to me and started to smell my hair. She exclaimed with a thrill that my hair was a smell she really liked. After making her statement she again buried her nose in my hair and started breathing in deeply. Almost as soon as she started to sniff my locks, a great, juicy cough came out of her mouth and right in my hair. “Hack! Hack!!!”  

I guess I’ll be washing my hair sooner than I expected.

Today was another day of school.

Today I did not think I could muster up enough energy to last the whole day.

Today the Lord provided.

Today my two Japanese boys were particularly inattentive to the lesson I was teaching. I made them stay on the carpet while everyone else was allowed to stand up and change their shoes for recess. When they were left all alone I explained why they were the last ones. I then released them to go. 

One of the boys sprang up and put his water bottle on his desk. Fatigue was hitting me and I began to rub my eyes. The same boy bounded over to me, touched me on the shoulder, and moved in to plant a kiss on my cheek. I chuckled. So sweet. “Go to recess, you hoodlum!”

Yesterday we had an author visit our classroom (school) from the States.

Today we talked about yesterday’s author visit, Mo Willems’ great works, and tried to refresh the idea that they are real authors too.

After the discussion, I sent them to write their masterpieces.  During the work time, one of my students came up to me to show me her piece. “I am THE author,” she declared.

YES! I took a picture of her with her work. She was proud – and actually smiled rather than doing a crazy face – as is her MO.

Today one student made this request, “Can you, Oliver, and me just go outside and play chase while everyone else stays inside?”

Today I nearly worked my students to the bone. Tomorrow we have “class assembly” during which time the parents come and we present what we have been learning to them as well as to the rest of the ECC We will be performing a play about autumn leaves, “1, 2, Buckle My Shoe” to showcase their rhyming skills, and a 1 act play about the first half of Joseph’s life.

While we were practicing the part about Joseph’s life, I had one student with drooping eyes fall off the “stage” and then explain, “I was falling asleep!”

Today my other Japanese student who understands few words in English raised his hand to speak during our end of the day sticker-giving time. I called on him, interested in what he was going to say. 

“One sticker, everybody?” 

HAHAHA! 

He may not know much English yet, but he knows which words are high priority to learn.

Today on September 22nd

Today I went to a Chinese wedding where I was billed in the program as, "Let's Play!"

I haven't performed in front of people (outside the short people I perform for 5 days a week,) since my college days. (And those days are quickly receding further and further into my past.)
It was fun.

I like energizing people.
I like energizing crowds.
(I wish I could participate in the theatre!)

Today I tried to converse with a young Chinese girl in Chinese. I like young Chinese-speakers. They keep talking, thinking you understand, realizing you don't/won't, but still trying and talking. We counted together and chatted about...milk.

Today I loved seeing the wedding ceremony. So simple! Much different than weddings in America. Much different from the weddings I have seen in China, thus far. More prayer, more Bible reading. I loved the simplicity -- of the furnishings, the clothes, and the venue. We were there to support and celebrate the union of the bride and groom. What else should matter?

My young chatting companion and one of my sister-colleagues.

Today, after the wedding, we went to eat at a restaurant. (Common for American weddings to operate in this way, but Chinese weddings are usually held in a restaurant -- sometimes the ceremony is happening while the guests sit around the not-yet-filled tables. The ceremony itself is actually much influenced by the West -- wedding dresses, rings, songs, etc.) The food was SO YUMMY!! Fried pumpkin bread -- doughnut-like. Muy delicioso. (Hao chi.)

Today I chatted with some of my national colleagues. Very nice. I loved feeling our connection -- as co-workers and sisters.

Today I walked home and smelled the "aroma" of Tianjin. Not a delight.

Today I paid 32RMB ($5.50) for a 60 fluid ounce bottle of bleach. (Last time I bought bleach at the import store I paid a similar price for double the beach. I "need" my bleach.)

Today I went to the market and bought my niu rou (beef), ji rou (chicken), almonds, flour, cai (vegetables), and shui guo (fruit) from the sellers on the street -- and the meat sitting out on the counters, with the cloth fans flying above them. (An effort to fan away the circling flies.) I spent less than $30. I still need to get yogurt and bread -- maybe some bananas, but these should last for half a week.


Now I am sitting at my computer, pondering the time, pondering the possibilities.

Today on September 16th

Today I rode a few (?) miles on my bike with a fellow teacher riding on the back.

Today I sang and worshiped with a whole bunch of internationals, covering each continent (minus Antarctica). We sang a song in Swahili. (?) The worship leader is from Sri Lanka. I've had Passover dinner with her before. --In the home of a family from South Africa, England, Taiwan, and mainland China.

Today at church, I grooved while I sang.

Today I ate a whole bunch of jiao zi (pumpkin, donkey, shrimp, curry with cow, and regular kinds too).

Today I saw the baptism of 3 foreign teenagers in a river and sang worship songs outside in the park.

Today I walked a lot and biked A LOT.

Today I participated in a surprise 50th birthday celebration of the leader of our small group. (I got to eat a piece of cheese cake.)

Today I ate some delicious kimbap (tuna) and drank a delicious mango smoothie.

Today I had interesting conversations with high schoolers, fellow teachers, and parents.

Today I put my leftover jiao zi under the car. (Stupid. Why?) When I came back, it was gone. I hope the street sweeper ate it.

I experience these things and I interact with these people and I don't want to go.

Tianjin -- view from Trash Mountain

Must I go?
Will I stay?

If I go, will I ever come back?

As I was walking today the realization struck me that if I must leave -- I may never be able to come back again.
That is a deep sorrow to my soul. Not so much because of the PLACE, but because of the PEOPLE.

The sorrow still lingers from Washington...a bit from California, and now I have China to (perhaps?) add to the list.

I tried to imprint on my mind the sights, sounds, textures, and scents of Tianjin in the throes of Fall.

Beauty can be seen here too.

Today on September 15th

http://www.kentkedl.com/?tag=staring

Today we walked down the street carrying a vacuum. As they do, people seemed interested in the foreign-made spectacle.

Today we tried to pay our phone bill, but no one was at the counter and we couldn't read the Chinese signs.


Today we won't be able to pay our phone bill. We will have to pay on another occasion, maybe with some help from a Chinese friend. (True, our friend went and paid for us after we tried a few times.)

textually.org

Today we tried to pay our cellphone bill. We tried to follow the "normal procedure," but they have changed the normal procedure. Instead of going to a person, now they have technology. We have to pay our cellphone bill at an automated machine -- in Chinese. We had to stand and wait for help. They were kind. They helped us.

Today we saw (once again) how helpless we are in this foreign land. When systems or procedures change, when people aren't sitting at their normal desks, we have no idea what is going on and there is no real way that we (by ourselves) can figure out why that person is not sitting at their desk at 2:15 in the afternoon. (It's not lunch time, but we can't read the signs -- or understand the words that would tell us what is the new procedure and how we should come back and conduct ourselves.)

Today is another day in China.

New Bundles of Kindergarten Energies

Summer has ended and the school year has begun. I just finished my third week (I think?) of teaching. This year I have 16 students. (Last year I started with 10 and ended with 8. Yeah. I scare away the children.)

Here's this year's language/culture breakdown:

3 Chinese speakers: 1 is very low in his understanding/speaking of English. The other 2 are medium in speaking/listening.
2 Japanese speakers: Both are very low – one is named YuICHIRO (I know, I heard -- he's gone to the Yankees.)
3 Native English speakers: 1 is high in reading, 1 is middle, and 1 doesn’t yet know his letter names. 1 French speaker: He is still in France and won’t be coming until September 19^th. Last year he was speaking English.When he gets here, we'll see how he's doing.
7 Korean speakers: Most of them are middle to low in their speaking abilities, though some of them can read fairly well.

My goal: SWBAT read, write and speak some (kind) sentences by the end of the year.  
We shall go forward!

Readying ourselves for the BEAR HUNT!

 

Funny side story/sneak peak into my classroom:

The other day I wanted a group of them to come to the floor with their paper and pencil. So, I picked up a pencil, “Get your PENCIL.” And I held up the paper, “And get your PAPER.” And I then began to motion to the floor, “And come SIT,” I began to sit, “on the FLOOR.” I pointed in the direction of the floor with my index finger. 

I repeated myself. “Get your PENCIL, and get your PAPER, and come SIT on the FLOOR.” 

Same words, same charades. Great efforts, yet no one came. Even the native English speakers gave me blank stares. 

“Please come, now.” I said. 

Eventually their bodies began to move in the direction of the floor.

My goal for this year was to have self-control and not sing or dance at random times during class. I was going to make them raise their hands and never speak out and we were going to have STRUCTURED stretching times rather than FREE wiggle/dancing time.

I am not sure that it even lasted two weeks.

I almost died.

They almost exploded.

I cannot deny that the “don’t smile/be silly for the first month” would have been profitable, (it definitely DID help me to clearly define times to raise hands and other expectations,) but I couldn’t last a WHOLE month. I had to hold in too much of my own energy let alone my students’ energies. I was getting annoyed and they were getting discouraged. It’s just not happily feasible for kindergarteners (or a teacher named Miss Martin) to contain their energy ALL day long. 

As a remedy to our troubles, this week I started singing and dancing at random moments and we have been having “free” wiggle/dance time once again. (No running, no flying shoes, and no yelling. Those are our guidelines.)

Our song of choice last year was “High School Musical” – per their request. This year we happened upon “Cotton-eyed Joe” and a bhangra/Bollywood song. They love it. And WOW! Are they dancers, or what?! I have never seen some of the moves these children are bustin’ out. They have skills. (I also wonder what some of them watch at home with their parents.)

When I visit the States for Christmas I will try to post some dancing videos. (I don't have patience for the uploading time here.)

Pop Art, Surrealism, and Cultural Change

About a month ago a Chinese friend came over and we watched BBC biographies about Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, and Salvador Dali.

A few things:

First—I couldn’t believe how much I miss these kinds of conversations and opportunities for learning and challenging my brain to think and discern, probe, and question. I miss it so much I could cry.

(Truly.)

My soul LONGS to go to the library and just walk around the shelves, drinking in the smell of the musty carpet, and the molding books.

(I often have my kindergarten students smell books so they can get the FULL experience of reading – even if they think the smell is yucky.)

Second—It is astounding the extent to which these artists have changed and shaped the Western worldview! It was so interesting for me to watch the biographies with an Eastern friend who had never really learned about them before. She doesn’t relate so much to the art or the changes it has made.

(Though, her culture is changing.)

                                                                                  To begin:

-Andy Warhol-

(museum)

Hasn’t he changed our culture?!!

(He was a social outcast.)

Think of the promotion of having your own personal camera (video and photo) to capture all your “special times”. 

(That’s right. You do have one. And you do snap and share.)

Think of the creation of YouTube and Facebook – and blogs.  We think we are important because we “are”. We think we have the right to have our 15 seconds of fame.

He coined this phrase.

(I didn’t know. I was shocked.)

I am glad to have the silk-screen technique.

Does the “captivation” of everyday items in a piece of art take away from what we should actually value and honor, or was he right?

These are the things we use and know, so why not recognize them properly?

(But, really?!? Soup cans? Our faces? Marilyn Monroe dyed different colors??)

Doesn’t that distract us from giving honor to those things that are actually honorable? 

(Doesn’t it dumb-down our senses?)

But, ::cough, cough:: who’s to say what is honorable?

Who has the authority to bring the standard?

(yeah…)

-Salvador Dali-

Surrealism. Wow! Subtly took away our sensibilities as a culture. His art was the great advertisement for the philosophy. How it has influenced TV, what is possible to say, psychiatry, and the self-control of our culture.

Enraging and it ASTOUNDS me!

Everybody has the right to express everything they feel because feeling “it” (though there is no need for a particular “it”,) makes “the” valid.

All is valuable (and that’s not even the right word) ---.

All is whatever it may be, therefore; all is all.

(megkaminski.wordpress.com)

 

I have never enjoyed the “melting” clocks or chopped off chicken heads. And how can people be so audacious as to say, “This is magnificent because it is my subconscious. You don’t understand it? Neither do I. That’s the beauty.”

(Though, I must admit, it does sound nice. The above picture is even intriguing, though it isn't my favorite. It's not so much the meaning in IT, but behind and in IT. I do enjoy the pleasant mystery of some of this movement's art pieces. It sounds open and free – like leaving the crowded city to enjoy the open freshness of the mountain scenery. Just enjoy the experience of whatever may come.)

BUT! It’s a snare and trap because of what we are and what actually is.

It removes us from reality because it takes us away from what is reality.

It is a deception.

(Yes, there is a reality.)

Its "purpose" (irony?) is to promote the questioning of what is.

What does have a higher value? Anything? Why not the subconscious? Why “repress” it?

Let it speak; for that is us.

(I stick out my tongue.)

Hmmm…

Maybe I could make a tongue-shaped pen.

Actually, no, that would hold too much reason – tongues speak words and pens write words.

Maybe I could make it a hair bow or a car’s shape – my lips and tongue pointing out.

No, no!

(Too much meaning.)

Aha!

I should make a bear-shaped computer.

Yes.

(It would be available in multiples of personalized colors and patterns, of course.)

[If needed, it could represent my rage against the machine - as represented by the bear (rage) and computer as our culture's main form of communication - also showing the degree to which our culture has changed. Ooh! Look at my subconscious speaking!! Except not because it was reasoned.]

What annoys me most is how much this man and his artistic expressions influenced me through my culture – without me even knowing it!

I submitted to his false philosophies unaware of what I was doing.

How?

I know I find surrealism funny. (Oscar Meyer hot dog car.)

But that’s also the point that BUGS me –

Opening the door for the manufacturing of hot dog cars made him rich and famous?!

(http://www.finemainelobster.com/lobster-telephone/ -- language here)

WHY?!!!

Would no one ever have done it?

What is so amazing about a phone being in the shape of a lobster, or a chair being in the shape of lips?!!

And that is the point. That is how numb I am to the influence of surrealism – I don’t even know the world without it. I don't even comprehend the strangeness.

**Sidenote**

Of course, the point is not so much what was made, but the opening of them to be made. It's the breaking down of the society as we have known it to be. --And the idea of what can be "represented" as we are moved by our subconscious.

-Pablo Picasso-

I like his face. (Maybe it's because he kind of reminds me of children's authors, Eric Carle and Tomie dePaola. haha)

 Anyways, Picasso intrigues me.

It’s more the process of his life as expressed in his art and its transformation over time.

I also find it intriguing why and how he came to be so famous and so well known.

The shirt he wore?

(I never knew it was his shirt!)

Guernica intrigues me. The expression of emotions are powerful. I think Picasso's work is full of powerfully expressed emotion. (Yeah, weird and disturbing at times as well.) But, his organization of color and shape. Wow.

(http://www.sinoorigin.com/famous-artists/pablo-picasso.html)

Third—Once again, I am mesmerized by the affect of art on life, life on philosophy, historical changes, the movement of a people, change and development of music, ideals, the course of history, the affect of the individual on the group, the affect of the group (culture) on the choices of the individual, science, and the future of the world – all wrapped up, connected, and defined by the plan of the Sovereign God.

The depth and detail of their influence upon one another is far beyond my comprehension.

It blows my mind.

That’s why I love it.