Time to Speak

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Today I went to Kettering to see a friend. We drove around Dayton looking for some Thai food. I observed the downtown Dayton businesses in a way I have not seen them before.

When we got out of the car to see if the restaurant was open, I noticed that the neighborhood was littered with girlie bars, strip clubs, and adult shops. I have seen those before and have felt disgusted, but today I felt more than disgust, I felt sorrow.

I felt sorrow because I saw them as possible businesses of sex traffickers. Women's faces came to my mind and I saw people who are scared, abused, and do not realize what love is. I saw men who are not controlled, who think they're just having fun. I saw other men who understand what they're doing and want more. More money, more power, more success. Today my heart was saddened in a way it has not been at the sight of downtown "night life". Praise the Lord, today He has grown my heart.

What to do, what to do?

Just take a step...and more will follow.

It is time to act - with words.

How can that be enough? How can that matter?

Will any of this make a difference?
Is that mine to decide?

Hmmm....
Nope. I guess it's not mine to decide.
It is my opportunity to cause an effect in whatever way the Lord would choose to use and direct it.

May He be glorified and may people know His love.

Cambodia -- My Hypocrisy?

Written while I was there. Published now.

I sit here, on a couch, in a foreigners’ hotel, next to the Mekong River in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I’m supposed to be writing the plan for my Bible lesson for the kids in a “suburban village” we are going to this evening after church. My stomach is feeling a bit uncomfortable. I stop to write this “reflective essay” because I find that I am faced with a choice. I could stand up, go to the fridge, and eat. I could relieve my small hunger pains, return to my computer screen, notebook, and Bible, and continue writing words of encouragement for the children in this factory village. But, isn’t that hypocritical?

When their stomachs feel uncomfortable, whether it is because of hunger pangs or those other, sickly reasons, are they able to immediately rise up, go across the room (which they don’t have) and pull out some leftover food that is just waiting to be consumed? If hunger is not the source of their pain, can they easily get up and go to the toilet? Go get medicine from the cabinet? Have their parents drive them to the doctor?

No.

Isn’t my ease of being full and overfilled a type of hypocrisy?

This stance may not be true for the world, but the conviction is true for me. For at least three years I have been thinking about Matthew 5 and the hungry who will be filled in heaven, the mournful who will find their joy in heaven, and those of us who have lived happy, full-stomached lives who will still – get as much reward for our life trials and choices as those who have experienced real starvation and life destruction?! 

Based on Matthew 5, I think I won’t. 

(WARNING! CAUTION!! Does this come from a mind that fights to go back to earning the approval of God? –Yes. And yet, I will continue to build a case for my point.)

It is true, I will know greater joy and fullness in the eternal presence of Jesus, but will I know it to the same depth of sweetness as those who have hungered and mourned to great depths of starvation and sorrow? I actually think not. How can I? I have chosen and been filled with the immediate pleasures of this world rather than denying myself and waiting for eternity. (Biblical? The other side: I am welcomed to enjoy the blessings of the Lord because He has chosen to bestow them upon me, thus far, while I live on this earth.) 

Perhaps this is the true point of God’s conviction upon my soul: have I been sharing His blessings appropriately?

I will say it clearly so there is no confusion: There is nothing inherently wrong with earthly wealth, but what does the accumulation of wealth reveal about my heart?

Where my treasure is there my heart will be also.

And so, I sit here with my conundrum. I am, I think, legitimately hungry. It would be no sin for me to go to the fridge to get something to eat. The food is there and already purchased. We will be eating it anyways. But, where does this pattern of the “necessity of comfort” end? If the Lord has convicted my soul, then I must choose to take steps to change. When do I start to take those steps? How do I keep those steps in a consistent manner?

Suddenly, I am aware of the time.

I need to go finish writing my Bible lesson about Matthew 8 – the leper and Jesus.

With such ease my conundrum of hypocrisy continues. I will put off eating my breakfast for a few more minutes, a short-term way to placate the wrestlings of my heart.

Cambodian Reflections - Part 1

Written three days ago with the intention of being posted sooner.

We made it to the beach. The crashing waves are exciting each of our souls, and we are thankful.

We came in around 4 on Saturday afternoon, checked in to our rooms, and headed to the hotel's beachfront restaurant. (We're not in Phnom Penh anymore.) After eating our food, self-restraint was no longer a virtue. We ran up and down the shore, frolicking in the delights of God's creation until, at last, we jumped in to experience the power of the crashing waves against our bodies. A delight and a half.

As we played, our thoughts continued to drift back to the reality of the power of God. God sat as King at the Flood and He sits enthroned forever. The disciples were shocked when they witnessed how even the wind and the waves obeyed His voice. To Him belong glory, honor, majesty, and power. The twenty-four elders and the four eye-covered creatures recognize this with continuous exaltation. His power is great and greatly to be praised.

The day before we left for the beach we went to an NGO-established House of Prayer. Hallelujah and amen! It's a cool place. On the first floor they have a restaurant that makes and sells scrumptious delights. When you have finished sampling their wares, you walk up the stairs to the section designed to be the House of Prayer. On the second floor they have set up different stations to help you pray and worship through creative outlets. There's a photograph station, writing station, painting station, music station, couches, pillows, books on prayer and spiritual warfare, and huge windows to look out and see the people on the street.  It is great.

Halfway through our time there a man came to guide the music and intercession for those involved in sex trafficking. Another group joined at this time. We sang and prayed together, united in the hope of what can be accomplished through the power of the Gospel. After all, what other authority can break through the chains imprisoning the hearts of the men, women, and children in Cambodia? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

In light of this, how much more diligently and purposefully should His children be interceding for those who have not yet risen from the dead? How much more should those who are apart of His Body pray for those already inside His Body as well as for those who are ceaselessly working for the souls and people in Cambodia?

We love to play in the crashing waves. I think it's so thrilling because I have the opportunity to wrestle with power. I want to see if I can stand up against the energy of the wave. Can I harness its power and ride it to the shore? Will it throw me to the ground? Will it lift me to the heights? There’s joy in the danger.

If the power we see in the waves is such a small glimpse of the actual power the God of the universe possesses, how much more should we then choose to go before His throne and intercede for others? All our efforts without His power are as nothing, but through and in His power they can accomplish everything.

As CS Lewis said in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, "He is not a tame lion.” Our God does not have power or majesty that can be tamed. There is risk in that reality. Will we choose to sit outside and question, or will we jump in by faith and trust that whatever He may choose it is for our good and His glory? We have the opportunity to sit outside His power and watch how He works, because He will work without us. But, if we step in to participate with Him in and through prayer we have the delight of experiencing the working power of our Creator for the benefit of ourselves, our local fellowships, the Cambodian church, as well as the Global Body.

May we choose to jump in and allow the power of the waves of His work rush over us -- and those for whom we pray.

Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth; on that very day his plans perish.

Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed, who gives food to the hungry.

The Lord sets the prisoners free; the Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down; the Lord loves the righteous.

The Lord watches over the sojourners; He upholds the widow and the fatherless, but the way of the wicked He brings to ruin.

The Lord will reign forever, your God, O Zion, to all generations.

Praise the Lord!

Psalm 146:3-10

Love Poured Out

It seems as if I could be plagiarizing, but I am not sure what song. Oops.

Oh great God, matchless King;

Ruler over everything.

We give our hearts and our lives;

Let us dwell in Your sacrifice.

Living God, consume our souls,

Let us not our love withhold.

Focus our gaze; enlarge our hearts;

Faithful One, You will not depart.

You have come and set us free

And we’ll always dwell with thee.

You took our sin and our shame;

You are coming back again.

Hallelujah, hallelujah sin is gone and Christ’s alive!

Hallelujah, hallelujah to the One who reigns on high.

Psalm 78 (Reflections)

I have the chains of death

wrapped around my soul,

I cannot comprehend their strength,

And they will not let me go.

My cravings long to ignore my evil

And forget that it is there.

It eats away at my soul

And takes me from His care.

Wearied by this attack

that preys on every part,

I feel that my strength is sapped

Before the battle has its start.

I step onto the battlefield,

and smell the stench of rot.

Temptation has done its job

Here is sin that’s hard to stop.

The apathy which has grown

toward this battle’s fight,

Came because I tested God,

And now, I’ve drifted from His light.

I have chosen not to trust,

I have chosen to rebel.

Will He show me His love,

Or would He kick me off to Hell?

Oh God! Give me the strength to stand

As you promised You would do.

I have no idea about Your plan,

But I know that You are True.

My heart is foolish and deceitful,

I cannot trust its ways.

I will choose to look to You

And will delight while I obey.

With the crashing of my Sword,

I will be reminded of the gift,

No longer am I a slave to sin,

I will choose not to listen to it.

And thus, this battle has begun,

Through His power alone.

I will lean upon His Word

And He will bring me Home.

Unable to do this by myself,

I need You every hour.

Fill me with Your awe,

You are my strong tower.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!

Praise the Lord for His continued blessings of growth and sanctification that He continues to shower down upon me. Hallelujah! Praise Him who loves me (can I say that?) as His daughter. I am almost moved to tears. How can that statement be true? (Romans 8:15-17)

Praise God through whom all blessings flow.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Psalm 148

Praise the Lord!

Praise the Lord from the heavens;

praise Him in the heights!

Praise Him, all His angels;

praise Him, all His hosts!

Praise Him, sun and moon,

praise Him, all you shining stars!

Praise Him, you highest heavens,

and you waters above the heavens!

Let them praise the name of the Lord!

For He command and they were created.

And He established them forever and ever;

He gave a decree, and it shall not pass away.

Praise the Lord from the earth,

you great sea creatures and all deeps,

fire and hail, snow and mist,

stormy wind fulfilling His word!

Mountains and all hills,

fruit trees and all cedars!

Beasts and al livestock,

creeping things and flying birds!

Kings of the earth and all people,

princes and all rulers of the earth!

Young men and maidens together,

old men and children!

Let them praise the name of the Lord,

for His name alone is exalted;

His majesty is above earth and heaven.

Moms on the Foreign Field

It has taken me awhile, but I love the expats. I have formed bonds and friendships with the foreigners here that I will cherish for the rest of my days.

The moms in our community are AMAZING! Most of them have 3 or more children, in China, in a foreign language, preparing their homes and food, all with foreign supplies. Their abilities, endurance, and fearlessness astounds me. I admire them greatly.

The mom in my small group particularly amazes me with what she can cook. She came to China in the late 80s/early 90s. She smuggled Bibles in to China from Taiwan (southern China). She came to China when she had to make her own cheese and milk. She had to learn the language on her own, use vouchers to purchase food on her own, and make do through her own ingenuity.

Now, she has four children and China has become more open to the West.

This Chun Jie two-week break she has been inviting families and singles over regularly. My friend and I went over a couple days ago. This woman made an AMAZING homemade/pizzeria-like crust with a white, garlic sauce. After this delicious lunch, she made homemade chocolate sauce to go on top of our homemade vanilla ice cream (rolled in a ice cream maker ball by the family – this gift was sent to them by her parents in Maine). Most of her “from scratch” recipes come from the Wycliffe cookbook. THOSE wives/mothers must be PARTICULARLY amazing!! (We discussed this that day.)

Every Tuesday the singles in our small group go to their home for dinner. We joke that hers is the best meal we get in the week. We are never disappointed. The rule of her house is to not leave hungry. We do not.

Another family came here (for the second time) with four children all 5-years-old and under. How do you do it? How do you suck it up, bundle up the surplus of children (as compared to the Chinese requirement of 1 and the Korean usual of 2,) and try to pay bills and buy groceries with a limited amount of language in a limited amount of space? How do you balance the allowance of touching and attention that your cute, foreign babies will bring with the decision to say, “Gou la! Zai jian!” (“Enough! See you later!”)

You do it because you must and this is your job. You do it even though the world stares at you because of your many blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies. You do it because that is what the Lord has given you to do and you decided to respond to His call.

May the Lord strengthen the hands of these ladies! May they trust in the Lord to meet all their needs of companionship, with-it-ness, and patience. May they look at the unknown of each day and bring it to the Lord. May they be content with the job the LORD has given to them, at home, and not be bitter or jealous of their husbands who seem like they are being more productive for the kingdom in this new country. (This new country where they don’t know HOW they are ministering in it…when they are doing the stuff at their foreign home that they could have done much better in their home-country home.)

Indeed, they will learn how to survive and then, by God’s grace and their sanctification, they will learn how to thrive.

Pray for these ladies! May they find their contentment in Him and joy in the jobs they have at home that often limit them from being able to reach out to neighbors (whose language they often cannot speak – yet). The beginning is always frustrating, but with time and patience and study, it will come and their ministries will be opened wide. (Hallelujah!)

Hating Normal

 Mini: Not Normal (commercial)
 "Normal isn't great. It isn't fantastic. Normal can never be amazing."

The commercial revealed the desperation of mankind to have a glorious identity and a fulfilling purpose.

I started crying before Les Miserables even started.

Most of us are normal. Though it has been said that "the only normal people you know are the ones you don't know well enough," most of us are not above average. Most of us will never not be average. That's why there are "standardized" tests and procedures. We are normal.

And yet, what is the normalcy in which we [the culture of America] have allowed ourselves to be cooked?
Stupidity.
Laziness.
Discontentedness.
Selfishness.

And our hearts are aching.

We, the people, reach for drugs, clubs, music, sex, world travels, coffee, cars, clothes trying to escape the feeling of being normal, complacent, comfortable, average. We (particularly those Americans between 18-34,) are choking to find a purposeful identity, but it's being shoved in our faces as something that we need to go out and buy, or make, or become, or accomplish for the world.

Christians have this problem too. We don't want to be normal. We feel the guilt of enjoying our middle-class luxuries while those "other people" are dying in poverty and biblical ignorance.

And how do we stop up this pain?

Crying.
Mission trips.
Giving money.
Discussing our shock and horror.

Is this the biblical view?

Is being normal (living a comfortable, middle class American lifestyle,) a sin?
--It depends on who we choose to serve. God or money? Do we hold on to our possessions and position with a tight fist? Are we willing to share and give sacrificially when and as the Lord directs?

Was Jesus normal?
--In many ways, yes. Most Bibline heroes were normal people who stepped up when the Lord called. It was not that they cut their own path to be radical -- they just trusted and obeyed when the Lord directed.

Have we forgotten our identity?
--The world dies in their pursuit of "radical" and "anti-normal" because they do not know for Whom they live. But we who have been born again and are purchased by the blood of Jesus in order to share in His inheritance and to be built up as His living temple, have we neglected our calling?

Paul's letters were written to people living normal lives. His letters promoted the idea of normal lives being lived out.
Don't be busybodies.
Work hard as if you were working to Jesus.
If you were saved as a slave, stay a slave.
If you were saved as a free man, stay a free man.
Offer your bodies as living sacrifices.
Live so people will see you and glorify God.

The world is feeding us lies of distraction and death.

"Normalcy" isn't the problem. Forgetfulness is the problem.

The commercial made me cry because I thought about those acting in the commercial and represented by the commercial. All they want is to know that they are important and have a purpose in living, but they refuse to go to the One who satisfies.

Constantly searching for a release from themselves and a salvation from the lives they try to love, but they won't look to Him who is beyond comprehension and who has created them for His eternal purpose.

They want to be valued and identified, but they will not look to the One in whose image they have been created.

I cried for their blindness, for their hopelessness, for their despair. They grasp and consume in vain, when He is near! The glorious One calls out to them, but they will not listen. 

Louder they sing their woeful tunes, higher they punch their clenched fists, faster they drive their cars, and longer they curse their wasted existence.

May those who have their identity in the Beloved not grow hard to the cries of the world, nor be ensnared in the chains of their idles. <- font="font" pun="pun" purposeful="purposeful">

God and Life

“Trusting God for what he has done positions our hearts to trust God for what he has promised to do.” – Mike Bullmore

When I am fully trusting God for what he has done, trusting that Christ really did take my sin upon himself, that he really did pay the penalty for it, that I really have been forgiven, that I really am fully and finally reconciled to God—when I trust God in all of this, my heart is now positioned to trust God for what he has promised he will do today and in the future. And what has he promised to do? He has promised to make me holy. He has promised to sanctify me, to help me put sin to death and to replace it with joyful obedience. He has promised that the Holy Spirit is operating within my life to bring me into closer conformity with Jesus Christ. He has promised that the very same power that has saved me is now sanctifying me. Now I have hope and confidence that this really is happening and that this really can happen. I really can put sin to death, I really can grow in holiness, I really can grow in Christ-like character and look more and more like the One who saved me.

--Tim Challies

“...The Christian life is simply a process of having your natural self changed into a Christ self, and that process goes on very far in time.
One’s most private wishes, one’s point of view, are the things that have to be changed...As long as the old self is there it’s taint will be over all we do.
We try to be religious and become pharisees. We try to be kind and become patronizing. Social service ends in red tape of officialdome.
Unselfishness becomes a form of showing off. I don’t mean of course that we’re to stop trying to be good.
We’ve got to do the best we can...The real cure lies far deeper. Out of our self and into Christ we must go.”

 - C.S.Lewis

International Fellowship

I LOVE IT!
Not that this was always the case.

The music can be off key -- keyboardists play a variety of random notes between songs to "create the mood" while vocalists also play a variety of random notes to express their joy and love for the Lord. Whew! So many notes creates an interesting atmosphere.

But, I have learned to appreciate it. I have learned to see past the notes, to see the singers and players in a cultural as well as a "worshipful" light. They sing to the Lord, not me.

The preaching-teaching was something I had to get used to as well. We have a rotation of teaching men and they each have about 20-30 minutes to teach. Most recently we were going through the book of Revelation. Whew! We certainly went through it, but without much depth to the teaching.

And yet, I have learned to contain my expectations and look for a depth of teaching else where -- and particularly in my own reading/study of the Bible. I have learned to appreciate the sermons (by a couple men in particular) that are challenging and Scripture-filled when we get them. I have also learned to appreciate the progress in teaching the other men (could be) making when they come up to teach. I have seen growth in the skill of our teachers.

So, why do I "LOVE IT"?

It's a picture of what Eternity with Him will be like. Men from every tribe, tongue, and nation will be gathered before Him to make a joyful NOISE before Him! We will all be singing and praising His Name and we won't all be praising in the same way. We won't all be standing still. We won't all be dancing with vigor. We won't all be lifting our hands. We won't all be sitting down. (For a time, of course, we will all be bowing before Him.)

I also LOVE different CULTURES!

The Lord is so good because He brought me to work in China, and I also get small pictures of what it's like to sing praises in the African way. (Not that all African countries worship in the same way. There's different "worship cultures" too.)

A few weeks ago a man from Kenya led the singing time. We sang in 4 or 5 different languages to represent some of the diversity in our congregation. There's two songs we sing in Swahili and I absolutely LOVE them!  One is about God being the King of Africa, and then we switch out "Africa" for the names of other locations. Another has a line, "SING! In the Af-ri-can WAY!" (Could be the same song, but I don't think it is...)

To express their worship, people sometimes come down the aisles just singing and dancing. (Last time the one who started the train was a guy from Sri Lanka.) Nobody was giving dirty looks. Nobody was "blaming them for being a distraction or trying to gain attention for themselves." (Because -- as far as it is my ability to see their hearts -- they AREN'T doing it to gain attention for themselves.)

The musicians on the stage often dance, shout, sing, and clap as well. When the Lord has given you joy -- let your joy be made known to all the people. I love that there is the freedom to sit, stand, move, raise hands, have hands at side, sing quietly, sing loudly, on key, off key, on beat, off beat, dance, remain still -- freedom in the Lord to allow the Holy Spirit to move and use you in the way He has wired you to be.

In our fellowship we have had people from over 50 countries in the last 6 months. We are a group of transitioning people made up of university students, English teachers, business people, and the like. We have (and had) people from Bolivia, Burundi, New Zealand, Rwanda, Nigeria, Uganda, Eritrea, Congo, Coast d'Ivoire, Equatorial Guinea, Hong Kong, Ethiopia, Russia, India, Sri Lanka, Germany, France, Tanzania, Ghana, Philippines, Korea, Japan, Canada, United States, Lebanon, Nepal, Kenya, and others I have not mentioned.

What's a thrill to my being are the conversations and interactions I have been able to have with some of these people -- representing places I have wanted to go in order to meet the people.

I asked a man from Kenya why he wanted to learn Chinese. He has a love for Kenya and wants to see it grow strong in the business world. His plan is to learn Chinese, return to Kenya, build businesses, and establish strong business relationships with China.

I spoke with a man from Uganda who was sent to China to study the organization and discipline of the Chinese military so he could go back to Uganda and help train the soldiers there.

A few weeks ago I met a girl whose dad is from India and whose mom is from Sri Lanka. We started talking, she and her boyfriend invited me for lunch, we went, and it was great. I got to hear about their lives in Tianjin as medical students who need to study in Chinese and about their home cultures.

So many people find a special fellowship in this congregation, grow in their faith, and then, after finishing their studies, go back to their home countries with a stronger faith in the Lord and His power. And their ministry to national students on the university campuses is from the Lord as well.

The man who is the "primary shepherd" for the international university students is one of the men whose preaching I look forward to. We don't agree on everything, but he has challenged me and my perspective. His love and passion for the Lord is an example and a challenge and he pours so much energy and attention into the university students. I praise the Lord for him and his faithful ministry.

I do love it.
I can't wait for the "days" when we will all be united with Him as a mass of nations -- all built together as His Body and His Temple; living stones beautifully chosen and arranged in diversity.

Psalm 29:3-4

Ascribe to the Lord, O Heavenly Beings

Ascribe to the Lord GLORY and STRENGTH.

Ascribe to the Lord the GLORY due His Name; worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.

--In the clothing of holiness.

Set apart. Consecrated.

Living Sacrifice.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters;

The God of glory thunders,

The Lord over many waters.

The voice of the Lord is powerful.

2) the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.

3) physical strength and force exerted by something or someone: the power of the storm.

The voice of the Lord is full of majesty. 

1) impressive stateliness, dignity, or beauty: experience the majesty of the Rockies.

Ascribe to the Lord, O Heavenly Beings. (command)

Ascribe to the Lord GLORY and STRENGTH. (command)

Ascribe to the Lord the GLORY due His Name; (command)

worship the Lord in the SPLENDOR of HOLINESS. (command)

“Ascribing” is also a type of call to worship – we are attributing to Him certain characteristics. Bringing GLORY to His Name because we are declaring our delight and love for Him and Who He is.

Four times we are commanded.

We are even told WHAT to ascribe – glory and strength.

We are even told how we may come – in the SPLENDOR of holiness.

And, HALLEUJAH, how do we get these garments of splendor?

I cannot make them myself – only through the death and resurrection of Jesus ad the indwelling of His Holy Spirit. THEN we will be presented blameless before Him – in our garments of holy splendor.

Now, we fight and press on for those garments.

Now we stand in the complete work of Christ – fixing our eyes on Jesus; setting our minds on Heavenly things; presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him. (Hebrews 11; Colossians 3; Romans 8)

The voice of the Lord is over the waters.

The GOD of GLORY THUNDERS,

The Lord, over many waters.

Repetition to make a point.

Review.

Pictures of Genesis 1:2 come to my mind.

How can a voice be “hovering” (so to speak) over the waters?

“Hovering” brings to mind a picture of thickness.

I love that phrase, “the God of glory THUNDERS.”

Wouldn’t you love to hear that delightfully horrifying sound?

A sound that strengthens you but shakes you to the core of your being – the ultimate adrenaline rush.

I can’t wait to hear His Voice and not just the shadows of it in our thunder.

Maybe that’s why we, as a people are drawn to the sights and sounds of the storms and the waters.

Truth be told, I like the ocean waters so much that I get a little teary-eyed when I think about their absence in the new earth. (Of course, whatever is there will be MUCH better and I will laugh at myself for being so silly.)

Perhaps, because the voice of the Lord thunders and sounds like rushing waters, maybe the need for the ocean’s waves is gone.

Maybe the sounds of the seraphim and cherubim and the four living creatures and the elders will scatter away in “lost dreams” the sounds of the ocean.

How is a voice “full of majesty”?

I looked it up and my computer dictionary had a good sentence, “Experience the majesty of the Rockies.”

Breath-taking and overwhelming is the voice of the Lord.

A voice that is foreshadowed by all the created things I love: oceans, mountains, and thunderstorms.

Ascribe to the Lord the glory DUE His Name.

Forever is not enough.

Another School Year Begins

I found this on my desktop a couple days ago. 

Meant to post it a couple months ago. 

It's good timing now too.

What is teaching?

So, I just finished my third year teaching.

I have battled with the Lord about why I (disorganized, scattered me,) am a teacher since I started in the teacher credential program – maybe even a bit before that. (Yes, I contemplated changing my major many times.)

As is my tradition I made “certificates of thankfulness” to send home with my students (at the end of the year) that include a couple class photos, stars, their name, and my signature. I usually include an encouraging note on the back about what I enjoyed about them and what I hope they will do in their future.

I was writing these notes [that morning] around…4am (time management…another one of my weaknesses,) and I started wondering why in the world I was writing such notes to kindergarteners. I was tempted to make them short and simple. Cut to the chase –

I am thankful you were in my class.

You are quite cute.

Have a great summer.

I will miss you.

Love, Miss Martin

Readable and would keep their attention span.

But then I thought about them referring to this note in the future. Maybe it would give them encouragement. I hoped.

This afternoon one of my students sent me an email.

It reads,

Dear    miss martin,               

thank you for the note you gave me I almost cried have you ever seen a note and cried?                                                                                                                                                                

rite a not back ill miss you! Fi i'm going to miss you!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we can impact their future as well as their present.

Press on and endure fellow influence-ers.

(Jia you! <-Chinese words "Give it gas!" "Press on!" "Keep going!")

Praise Him

“The primary business I must attend to every day is to fellowship with the Lord. The first concern is not how much I might serve the Lord, but how my inner man might be nourished.” (The Autobiography of George Muller 138)

“Whenever Moses went in before the Lord to speak with Him, he would remove the veil, until he came out. And when he came out and told the people of Israel what he was commanded, the people of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face was shining.” (Exodus 34:34-35)

“Heaven will be hard and bright, and the winds will be strong. You will have the body and the eyes and the purified, well-aged soul to bear it. We will remake this world with blistered hands. […] When we have eyes that can stare into the sun, eyes that only squint for the Shekinah… ” (italics mine; Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl 154)

He has convicted my soul with the reality that I am a selfish beast. I don’t LOVE people; I use them. I don’t LOVE Him above all, only when it’s convenient and/or necessary.

But I want that to change. I want to love Him (and others) more, more, and MORE. And part of this must be seen in my actions.

Are you ready for not just Heaven, but the NEW WORLD?! Are you ready to labor in His Presence and to see His Face?

He is in control of all things and because of Him all things exist.

God is holy.

God requires me to be holy.

And so, I must be.

How GREAT and AWESOME is He.

May He save many more people from their wretched state.

May He bring many people to KNOW Him and to LOVE Him.

May hearts be turned to repentance!

May we have ears and eyes to see and know.

Only by the grace of God.

GRACE! – Let it flood down.

Living By Faith

A few weeks ago I emailed my family and told them I was going to try to live in a more “charismatic” manner and by that I meant that I was going to try to live more “by faith” and see how that would change my doctrinal perspectives, etc.

I have found that it's not so much that my theological stance is changing (though maybe it should,) but that my theological/worldview is being defined. I am clarifying my own worldview.

In my mind, to live “by faith” means that I probably shouldn’t have a full cupboard of food, I shouldn’t live in a house that requires a mortgage, I should wear some shabby clothes, and maybe I shouldn’t have a particular career.

But that’s actually not God’s requirement for living by faith.

Living by faith can be done even if I am eating more than 3 regular meals a day, if I go to a job 5 days a week, if I wear “professional” clothing, and even if I live in a 2-story home. The importance is not the quantity (or the quality) of my possessions, but HOW I possess them, and if I am willing to give them up at any moment -- whenever He may ask.

We are called to live by faith because anything done out of faith is pleasing to the Lord and the opposite is true when it is not done out of faith.

I go to work with joy and through FAITH that God Himself has provided this job and salary for me at this time as His good will and plan UNTIL He chooses to tell me otherwise.

I can live in a 2-story home that is furnished if I live in it through FAITH that this is merely a MOMENTARY gift that must be held and shared as such. It cannot be my focus or idol. It cannot be held selfishly.

I can wear professional-looking clothes if I wear them through FAITH that they are not my beauty or identity. They have not been purchased for my vanity, but to serve as a covering that glorifies the Lord and is right for my particular profession.

I can eat my daily allotment of food through FAITH that the Lord has provided abundantly for my daily bread as I trust that it is not through my own efforts alone that I am able to eat. I cannot eat gluttonously and I cannot eat wastefully. I must be willing to sacrificially share with those who do not have such an abundance. I cannot believe that food alone sustains me and neglect the Food of the Lord -- His Word.

These thoughts, questions, and ideas are not new in the history of Christianity, in my (former) Christian circle, nor are they new ideas or questions to my mind. They have been simmering for some time. They are not -even- more charismatic. I am just stating it more directly than have my previous circles. My previous circles have encouraged, "living on unseen things," "lay it down before He asks for it," and have then applied it in various ways (i.e. adoption).

Living “by faith” does not have to happen in poverty, rather it MUST occur throughout/within every area of our present existence. (Relationships, possessions, commitments.) I believe the term for this is, "setting our minds on things above and not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3)

It begins in the small, daily activities and as we prove ourselves faithful, the Lord brings us further in to the “life of faith.” There are times when this requires us to sell all and follow Him, but this conviction is not required and it is not for everyone. He will guide and He prepares as we follow… by faith.

Shall I?