As I write about my understanding of what I observe and experience in China please remember that I am not here to study the culture. Culture is such a multi-faceted,
multi-layered structure that I don’t know much after being here for only 9
months. Knowing culture takes time, but I will try my best to communicate what I observe to others.
It would seem that Asians (I am thinking particularly of
Chinese, Koreans, and Japanese,) are more focused on their appearance and the
aesthetic beauty of things than I have felt coming from the States.
Appearance seems to have a higher priority in
the mind of the Chinese person because (I am hypothesizing,) beauty has
to do with ideas of “saving
face” and making sure that you look good and “put together” in front of
others.
In general, Asians do not want to reveal true emotions
publicly. Your appearance is often a window into how you are doing. You can
make yourself appear better off, happier, more confortable, richer, more at
ease if you look good.
Your appearance is also important because it speaks of your
status in society.
Elementary kids must wear red scarves to school, high school
kids must wear tracksuits decorated specifically for their particular school,
street cleaners must wear orange coveralls, massage workers (?) wear blue
“scrub” type outfits, professionals wear suits, pregnant ladies wear these
chest-to-abdomen-covering aprons that are supposed to protect the babies from
radioactive waves from computers and (I say) are also supposed to let the world
know that you’re fat because you’re pregnant (not because you’re a glutton).
Chinese people stare…and not just at the foreigners. They
stare at each other. Judgments are based on appearance and they seem to be very important
and authoritative.
Is that so different from the States?
Perhaps not SO different, but it does seem to have a sharper edge.
KEYS to Chinese beauty:
White skin.
Not fat.
Light hair is admired.
I was talking with my TA, Nancy Zhang about what the normal
Chinese person is looking for in a boyfriend or girlfriend:
--skin color
--fatness
--personality
--money
According to Nancy, if a guy and girl go out on a blind date, they will look at skin color first. If this is okay, but the person is too fat the date may not go long. If the person's skin is too dark, the date may be finished.
From Nancy I learned a Chinese proverb,
If you are ugly, but have white skin, you are more beautiful than the most ugly person.
Instead of having products to make skin darker, as is the case in the States, Chinese (Japanese and Korean) women use face washes, lotions, and foundation that make their skin whiter. Dark-skinned people who come and live in China, (many people from Africa come to study,) are not treated kindly. Taxi drivers will make comments, some children have not been allowed to attend Chinese schools, and various other things Chinese people do when you don't fit in their mold of beauty.
Even my Asian students have made comments about dark-skinned people when I have taught them about Africa and have shown them pictures. They yelled at the screen, called their skin ugly, and declared they never wanted to look like that. We have had many good discussions about the Lord creating us all and people having varieties of skin colors, and still loving God and being kind on the inside, but these are deeply rooted and culturally taught concepts that are hard to break.
On the other hand, some types of perspectives are changing. Chinese people are becoming more aware of black people. Chinese acquaintances from English corner and the Catholic church really like President Obama and are more willing to look past the color of non-Asians' skin color. (And yet, one of the girls who has said she loves Obama and black people, still uses white foundation to make her skin look white.)
Fatness is also not admired in China. People will openly say, "She's fat. You are fat. I am fat. He's fat." I had not known someone for longer than two minutes when he declared, "You're not as fat as you were in the picture." Oh thanks. (There are a growing number of fat Chinese people, particularly in the cities, however. Also, countryside/farmers have a different type of "thin" as well.)
In Korea and China (western) people have been told to stop looking in clothing stores because they are too fat and won't be able to find any clothes that fit anyways.
I can't tell if fat is repulsive, like skin color, or if it's just a matter-of-fact observation. It seems to be more the latter.
In one English corner we were talking about American presidents. I told them that President Polk had a bathtub made particularly for him because he was so fat. One of the young university students tried out his English language humor, "You mean he was fatter than YOU?!"
Nice boy.
Chinese beauty bonuses:
Hair cut should be “carefully” chosen: longer hair is
preferred with ladies. If you are a lady with a certain personality, you can
try to pull off the short hair cut, but you will be judged according to your
hair cut. Long hair is definitely seen and accepted as feminine and more
appealing to the men.
Guys take time on their hair. A comb-over is more
accepted than a bald head. (I have found myself being shocked when I see a bald
head in China.)
Nice clothes are important. Clothes should NOT get dirty. (My students are
always telling me that they can’t sit on the ground because they will get dirty.
I want to say, “Stand up and brush it off.” But their clothes are important and
it’s harder to clean them here and excessive to spend more money on lots of new
clothes.)
Clothes should be FITTED to your body – to make you appear thinner.
Short skirts are a go.
Shorts are not often worn and I am shocked when I see naked legs now.
Nice shoes are important. They give you height and (for
girls,) a nice feminine appeal.
For women: being feminine and cute is IMPORTANT. You must
look nice and girly. (Bows, sparkling diamond sequins, and cutsie cartoon
pictures on clothes and in your hair only add to this effect.) There does seem
to be pressure on women to be feminine. I don’t really feel that pressure in
the States, but here I do. For instance, going to the store in workout clothes is a strange thing to do. In America, this might be encouraged.
For men: how they dress is often dictated by their career.
As is often the case, men get away with a shirt and pants. “Boy band” look
seems to be the cool way to go. Men in China tend to have a more “feminine”
look, though not always (and not as much as Koreans), but they tend in that direction.
Muscles aren’t so important for girls. It’s not so much
getting a six-pack for either men or women as it is to just have no fat.
Especially for girls, they aren’t supposed to have (many) muscles because they
will look too manly. A guy coming for English corner saw my Jillian Michaels’
DVD and said, “I don’t think many girls would want to do that workout.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“She has too many muscles. Your arms will get huge and you’ll
look like a man.”
I then told him that many woman want to do Jillian Michaels’
workouts in the States and that she is very popular. I did, however, also
reassure him that I did not want massive muscle-arms either.
He ended by joking that maybe he should get that DVD for his
wife so she could work on getting muscles bigger than his.
Overall, these observations are mere generalities, but they seem to tug at the culture. Chinese people are detail-oriented and highly value beautiful things. It demands honor and respect from others and reveals where you are socially.
"Luckily," I am of European decent and so have some aspects genetically given to me: white, light hair, light eyes, and the ability to speak English. They can, I suppose, overlook my other flaws.
