Cambodia -- My Hypocrisy?

Written while I was there. Published now.

I sit here, on a couch, in a foreigners’ hotel, next to the Mekong River in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I’m supposed to be writing the plan for my Bible lesson for the kids in a “suburban village” we are going to this evening after church. My stomach is feeling a bit uncomfortable. I stop to write this “reflective essay” because I find that I am faced with a choice. I could stand up, go to the fridge, and eat. I could relieve my small hunger pains, return to my computer screen, notebook, and Bible, and continue writing words of encouragement for the children in this factory village. But, isn’t that hypocritical?

When their stomachs feel uncomfortable, whether it is because of hunger pangs or those other, sickly reasons, are they able to immediately rise up, go across the room (which they don’t have) and pull out some leftover food that is just waiting to be consumed? If hunger is not the source of their pain, can they easily get up and go to the toilet? Go get medicine from the cabinet? Have their parents drive them to the doctor?

No.

Isn’t my ease of being full and overfilled a type of hypocrisy?

This stance may not be true for the world, but the conviction is true for me. For at least three years I have been thinking about Matthew 5 and the hungry who will be filled in heaven, the mournful who will find their joy in heaven, and those of us who have lived happy, full-stomached lives who will still – get as much reward for our life trials and choices as those who have experienced real starvation and life destruction?! 

Based on Matthew 5, I think I won’t. 

(WARNING! CAUTION!! Does this come from a mind that fights to go back to earning the approval of God? –Yes. And yet, I will continue to build a case for my point.)

It is true, I will know greater joy and fullness in the eternal presence of Jesus, but will I know it to the same depth of sweetness as those who have hungered and mourned to great depths of starvation and sorrow? I actually think not. How can I? I have chosen and been filled with the immediate pleasures of this world rather than denying myself and waiting for eternity. (Biblical? The other side: I am welcomed to enjoy the blessings of the Lord because He has chosen to bestow them upon me, thus far, while I live on this earth.) 

Perhaps this is the true point of God’s conviction upon my soul: have I been sharing His blessings appropriately?

I will say it clearly so there is no confusion: There is nothing inherently wrong with earthly wealth, but what does the accumulation of wealth reveal about my heart?

Where my treasure is there my heart will be also.

And so, I sit here with my conundrum. I am, I think, legitimately hungry. It would be no sin for me to go to the fridge to get something to eat. The food is there and already purchased. We will be eating it anyways. But, where does this pattern of the “necessity of comfort” end? If the Lord has convicted my soul, then I must choose to take steps to change. When do I start to take those steps? How do I keep those steps in a consistent manner?

Suddenly, I am aware of the time.

I need to go finish writing my Bible lesson about Matthew 8 – the leper and Jesus.

With such ease my conundrum of hypocrisy continues. I will put off eating my breakfast for a few more minutes, a short-term way to placate the wrestlings of my heart.

Chun Jie Kuai Le! (Part 3 of 3)

Most people are not aware of the hugely spiritual side that this holiday indicates. It’s tradition to set off the firecrackers and they do it. "Historically", it is supposed to be used to chase off the evil spirits for the year. The red banners hung on the sides and top of the doors are meant to welcome in good luck (fu) and money. Health, wealth, and joy are the things that they hope their luck in the New Year will bring. Before the big Chun Jie celebration many Chinese people (my friend’s mom included,) go to Buddhist temples to give money and kowtow. In the day, they buy paper money, clothes, and cars, to burn to their dead ancestors at night. They don’t know if it really works, or what they are doing, but they are afraid that if they do not continue to do these things, bad luck will come to their homes and families.

One friend who is in her forties is a believer and goes to visit her elderly mother in the south of China during Chun Jie. Her mother is a believer, but is often tormented by “satanic” dreams of her dead ancestors during this time of year. My friend has tried to tell her mother that she does not have to be afraid of these evil spirits, but her mother cannot comprehend these words. Each year she continues to make her altar to her ancestors and present them with food and money. (These traditions also continue in Korea where they also celebrate Spring Festival.) One year, after much prayer, my friend’s mother was spared from these dreams and did not prepare the altar. This year my friend said that her mother was still afraid.

In Taiwan, Cambodia, and other Asian countries the awareness of the spiritual side is even bolder. “God-parades” happen in Taiwan and in Cambodia sacrifices of pigs are made. Pray for these countries and their spiritual bondage.

Even my friend with whom I celebrated Chun Jie this year expressed that she was afraid of the spirits after I passed in front of a “god” and took a picture. I thought she was joking when she asked me, “Aren’t you afraid of the evil spirits?” After I responded in a joking manner, I realized that she was serious and genuinely concerned. I tried to change my tone. I must be more sensitive to her needs and I also need to think about the lack of awareness in my own daily living. I don’t need to be afraid of these spirits, but do I acknowledge the reality of the spiritual battles? I should.

Another big firework days of Chun Jie was on the 5^th day of Chun Jie (Chu wu). On the 15^th day of Chun Jie (Chu shi wu). The 15^th day is the lantern festival. I love that festival too because we get to eat “glutinous rice balls” that have various jellied foods inside of them. (The most popular is “red bean.” Not all my foreign friends enjoy that flavor. If you eat too many, I also agree that it’s not so tasty.)

I am not quite sure, but on the Lantern Festival Day many people also get lanterns, write good wishes for the New Year on them, set the inside on fire, and let them float away in the sky. I got to do that with some friends in Bao Ding (another province) BEFORE the Lantern Festival last year. AH! So magical. I love it. (I hear Thailand does it too.)

So much more I could write about Chun Jie! So many people going to so many different places because they all have the week (or longer) off and they all need to be with their families. Some times the trains (particularly the few days leading up to Chun Jie,) are so packed that people have to get in through the train windows and/or they don’t have space to sit for the whole of their hours long journey.

When we went to Beijing for a day this break – so many people were at the high tourist spots. So many people are on the subways, so many people are on the buses. You just have to SQUISH on. When I went with my Chinese friends to “Ancient Culture Street” in Tianjin, sooo many people (“hen duo ren”) were there to experience traditional culture, celebrate the New Year, and buy things. (I love it.)

“Ren shan; ren hai.”

(A Chinese saying, translated, “People mountain; people sea.” Meaning, “There’s so many people it’s like a mountain and a sea made of just people.”) 

Always in China? Of course. 

Especially during Chun Jie? Indeed!!!